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: Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion v.14

: Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. 14
Advertising is gaining more popularity in the marketing of products or services. While advertisements are considered to be advantageous, they can have numerous negative influences. It is unquestionable that there are several benefits of advertising. By dint of the large-scale expansion of advertising in almost every kind of mass media and nearly all hoardings, this sector is likely to generate a diversity of employment opportunities. In other words, it provides occupations for artists, painters or copywriters in designing and preparing logos, contents or ideas for advertisements. Another advantage is that advertising may enable the messages involved in products and services to reach potential customers, followed by an increase in sales for businesses. Additionally, only thanks to advertisements, can customers be kept informed about newly-launched products. Therefore, they have more choices to make about their beloved products, contributing to the enhancement of their comforts and standard of living. However, advertising could cause several disadvantages for customers. No sooner might companies or business exaggerate or even distort the facts related to their products for commercial purposes than the customers can experience feelings of confusion about these items, making them have troubles selecting the products to their taste. Furthermore, the facts show that the more advertising expenses increase, the higher the product price is. The reason can be that the high cost of advertisements is covered by the selling price of advertised items. As a result, the advertised products can cost more than they should. Finally, when customers cannot resist the temptation of products which are advertised beyond customers’ expectations, there is every likelihood of them purchasing products which may be unnecessary. This trend could be seen as a waste of money. In conclusion, based on the above mentioned explanations, individuals may gain both considerable benefits and drawbacks through the growing prevalence of advertisements
Advertising is gaining more popularity in the marketing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or services. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are considered
to be advantageous, they can have numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences.

It is unquestionable that there are several benefits of advertising. By dint of the large-scale expansion of advertising in almost every kind of mass media and
nearly
all hoardings, this sector is likely to generate a diversity of employment opportunities.
In other words
, it provides occupations for artists, painters or copywriters in designing and preparing logos, contents or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. Another advantage is that advertising may enable the messages involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services to reach potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
, followed by an increase in sales for businesses.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
informed about
newly
-launched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Therefore
, they have more choices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
about their beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, contributing to the enhancement of their comforts and standard of living.

However
, advertising could cause several disadvantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
. No sooner might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or business exaggerate or even distort the facts related to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for commercial purposes than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
can experience feelings of confusion about these items, making them have troubles selecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to their taste.
Furthermore
, the facts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the more advertising expenses increase, the higher the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
price is. The reason can be that the high cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
is covered
by the selling price of advertised items.
As a result
, the advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can cost more than they should.
Finally
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
cannot resist the temptation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
are advertised
beyond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers’
expectations, there is every likelihood of them purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which may be unnecessary. This trend could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a waste of money.

In conclusion
, based on the above mentioned explanations, individuals may gain both considerable benefits and drawbacks through the growing prevalence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay : Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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