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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. v. 10

People have different views about whether children should be taught to be competitive or co-operative. While a spirit of competition can sometimes be useful in life, I believe that the ability to co-operate is more important. On the one hand, competition can be a great source of motivation for children. When teachers use games or prizes to introduce an element of competitiveness into lessons, it can encourage children to work harder to outdo the other pupils in the class. This kind of healthy rivalry may help to build children’s self confidence, while pushing them to work independently and progress more quickly. When these children leave school, their confidence and determination will help them in competitive situations such as job interviews. It can therefore be argued that competition should be encouraged in order to prepare children for adult life. On the other hand, it is perhaps even more important to prepare children for the many aspects of adult life that require co-operation. In the workplace, adults are expected to work in teams, follow instructions given by their superiors, or supervise and support the more junior members of staff. Team collaboration skills are much more useful than a competitive determination to win. This is the attitude that I believe schools should foster in young people. Instead of promoting the idea that people are either winners or losers, teachers could show children that they gain more from working together. In conclusion, I can understand why people might want to encourage competitiveness in children, but it seems to me that a co-operative attitude is much more desirable in adult life.

IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.10

People
have
different
views about whether
children
should
be taught
to be competitive or co-operative. While a spirit of competition can
sometimes
be useful in life, I believe that the ability to co-operate is more
important
. On the one hand, competition can be a great source of motivation for
children
. When teachers
use
games or prizes to introduce an element of competitiveness into lessons, it can encourage
children
to work harder to outdo the other pupils in the
class
. This kind of healthy rivalry may
help
to build
children’s
self
confidence
, while pushing them to work
independently
and progress more
quickly
. When these
children
leave
school, their
confidence
and determination will
help
them in competitive situations such as job interviews. It can
therefore
be argued
that competition should
be encouraged
in order to prepare
children
for adult life.
On the other hand
, it is perhaps even more
important
to prepare
children
for the
many
aspects of adult life that require co-operation. In the workplace,
adults
are
expected
to work in teams, follow instructions
given
by their superiors, or supervise and support the more junior members of staff. Team collaboration
skills
are much more useful than a competitive determination to win. This is the attitude that I believe schools should foster in young
people
.
Instead
of promoting the
idea
that
people
are either winners or losers, teachers could
show
children
that they gain more from working together.
In conclusion
, I can understand why
people
might want to encourage competitiveness in
children
,
but
it seems to me that a co-operative attitude is much more desirable in adult life.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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