Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of the sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give y v.1

Some people that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of the sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. 1
Students should learn world news as a subject in school or not is a very interesting question. There are many ways to educate young adults about what is happening around the world. Let's discuss some advantage and disadvantage this approach. Firstly, Let's try to figure out what are some pros of teaching in school. If international news is a subject, then everyone has to read and understand it. This way students are forced to read the newspaper every day. Also, there is consistency in what all students learn as they all are studying same content. Students will learn more about diverse cultures, religions, languages and many more things. Such subject has an evolving nature, which can start some discussions in class. In secondary school, kids are at a correct age to understand matters in international affairs. However, such subjects, though given them exposure, it is not helping them in gaining skills needed to secure a job in the future. On the other hand, teaching some practical lesson can add more value. For example, They are at the perfect age to learn cooking or basic electricity fixing. Such crafts can help them once they start living on their own or when looking for a normal job. In addition, another disadvantage would be exposed to low of violence at an early age. Many of the international news stories revolve around the wars in middle east and African countries with graphic pictures. Reading about such things can have a negative effect on young kids mind. On a different note, Some parents do not like to teach their kids about different religions. In Conclusion, Teaching international news in secondary school can be beneficial for teenagers to gain more perspective about the world. It can also introduce them to a bad and disturbing aspects of it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or not is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting question. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to educate young adults about what is happening around the world.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantage and disadvantage this approach.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's try to figure out what are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros of teaching in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, then everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
read and understand it. This way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are forced
to read the newspaper every day.
Also
, there is consistency in what all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
as they all are studying same content.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more about diverse cultures, religions, languages and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more things. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
has an evolving nature, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
discussions in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. In secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, kids are at a correct age to understand matters in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
affairs.

However
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
them exposure, it is not helping them in gaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
needed to secure a job in the future.
On the other hand
, teaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical lesson can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more value.
For example
, They are at the perfect age to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
cooking or basic electricity fixing. Such crafts can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
living on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
or when looking for a normal job.

In addition
, another disadvantage would
be exposed
to low of violence at an early age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
stories revolve around the wars in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
middle east
and African countries with graphic pictures. Reading about such things can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on young kids mind. On a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
note,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents do not like to teach their kids about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religions.

In Conclusion
, Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can be beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to gain more perspective about the world. It can
also
introduce them to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and disturbing aspects of it.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of the sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts