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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.6

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 6
Public health, a major concern for governments and people, has been a matter of many controversies in recent years. While it is believed by some that providing more sports facilities is the best means to guarantee good public health, others argue that this is not the best solution and other measures yield more positive effects. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my own opinion On the one hand, many opine that the provision of more sports facilities is the best way to ensure enhancing public health. Not only does this reduce the high costs of using sports facilities, but it also would make them highly accessible to the public. It is the expensiveness of sports infrastructures that hinders many from regular usage of them. Were more sports facilities provided, the increased supply would make them more economical, making people more willing to use them. Moreover, being far from these facilities, many people find doing sports time consuming and enervating. Furnishing people with more of these facilities would significantly increase their accessibility, encouraging more people to use the facilities more often. On the other hand, many opine that a high-quality healthcare system plays a more significant role in terms of the betterment of public health. Though regular physical exercise is a great way to fight against some diseases like diabetes and high blood pressure, there are myriad illnesses that require much more than doing sports. Take diarrhea as an example that exercising can by no means help cure it. Vaccination campaigns, medical check-ups, and health education classes, cost-effective and easily managed solutions, can yield a better result. Polio, one of the deadliest diseases in the world, for example, has been fully eradicated by vaccination. Furthermore, since society comprises of many different age groups from infants to seniors, it is not possible to ensure the participation of all of them in sports. In conclusion, although the provision of more sports facilities might encourage more individuals to do physical exercise by offering more accessibility and affordability, I do believe that ensuring a high-quality healthcare system plays an indispensable role in terms of enhancing public health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, a major concern for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, has been a matter of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
controversies in recent years. While it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that providing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities is the best means to guarantee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, others argue that this is not the best solution and other measures yield more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opine that the provision of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities is the best way to ensure enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the high costs of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
highly
accessible to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. It is the expensiveness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
infrastructures that hinders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
from regular usage of them. Were more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities provided, the increased supply would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more economical, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them.
Moreover
, being far from these facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and enervating. Furnishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with more of these facilities would
significantly
increase their accessibility, encouraging more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the facilities more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opine that a high-quality healthcare system plays a more significant role in terms of the betterment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Though regular physical exercise is a great way to fight against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases like diabetes and high blood pressure, there are myriad illnesses that require much more than doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Take diarrhea as an example that exercising can by no means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
cure it. Vaccination campaigns, medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-ups, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education classes, cost-effective and
easily
managed solutions, can yield a better result. Polio, one of the deadliest diseases in the world,
for example
, has been
fully
eradicated by vaccination.
Furthermore
, since society
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups from infants to seniors, it is not possible to ensure the participation of all of them in sports.

In conclusion
, although the provision of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities might encourage more individuals to do physical exercise by offering more accessibility and affordability, I do believe that ensuring a high-quality healthcare system plays an indispensable role in terms of enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 6

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
356 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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