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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v.52

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 52
Health is considered as the uttermost crucial element in people's lives and no country can ever dream to prosper if its citizens have a poor health condition. Every year government spends billions of dollars to recuperate public health of the country. Some people think that government can actually save moolah by investing in building sports centres rather than squandering annually on medical supplies while others argue that it would make little difference. Prevention is better than cure and it is indisputable that many diseases that people are suffering these days are due to an unhygienic lifestyle that people are embracing these days. Lack of physical activity added to extreme work stress and junk foods are making people more and more vulnerable to diseases like blood pressure, diabetes and depression and its medications aren’t cheap either. It is evident that huge sum is reimbursed for treatment of these diseases. If the government opens sports centres and people take up a healthy habit of doing physical work out there, not only it will make them immune to these diseases but they will also thrive both professionally and personally as a healthy body is superior to unhealthy one any day. However, the mere concentrating on sports centres to improve the health condition is not far from its fair share of controversy and critics either. Many disputes that it is only one aspect of possible many to the uplift health status of the country and snuggling it while completely overlooking others won't be of any use. For instance, people living in rural parts of our country do physical work all day and yet they do have a poor health condition. Lack of proper medical facilities, health awareness and malnutrition is leading to the untimely death of many by a simple disease like diarrhoea in places like Jajarkot and Ropla every year. Now policy of setting up sports centres there while ignoring the real issues would not be anything more than a parody.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is considered
as the uttermost crucial element in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can ever dream to prosper if its citizens have a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition. Every year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spends billions of dollars to recuperate public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can actually save
Possible spelling mistake found.
moolah
by investing in building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
rather
than squandering
annually
on medical supplies while others argue that it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
difference.

Prevention is better than cure and it is indisputable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering these days are due to an unhygienic lifestyle that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are embracing these days. Lack of physical activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to extreme work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and junk foods are making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more and more vulnerable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
like blood pressure, diabetes and depression and its medications aren’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
either. It is evident that huge sum
is reimbursed
for treatment of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
opens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take up a healthy habit of doing physical work out there, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them immune to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they will
also
thrive both
professionally
and
personally
as a healthy body is superior to unhealthy one any day.

However
, the mere concentrating on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition is not far from its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
share of controversy and critics either.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
disputes that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one aspect of possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to the uplift
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and snuggling it while completely overlooking others won't be of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in rural parts of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
do physical work all
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
day and
yet
they do have a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition. Lack of proper medical facilities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
awareness and malnutrition is leading to the
untimely
death of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
by a simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
like
Possible spelling mistake. 'diarrhoea' is British English.
diarrhoea
in places like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jajarkot
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ropla
every year.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
policy of setting up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
there while ignoring the real issues would not be anything more than a parody.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 52

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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