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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v.49

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 49
Many people believe that sports facilities are essential for improving public health as sporting activity helps to maintain body diet. But sports facility is not the only solution to improve public health. While a healthy place lets us live a healthy life, living in a dirty place and bad foods lead to numbers of health problems. In my opinion, other measures are required to improve public health along with the increase of sports facilities. Sports facilities are very important for public health either directly or indirectly. If you exercise regularly, you will have less disease than others who do not exercise at all. Beside this, doctors always prescribe to walk in the morning for controlling various diseases like diabetes. Moreover, sports facilities let the children grow healthy and tall. Furthermore, to the fact, sporting activity keeps you away from getting addicted to alcohol or drugs. So, the importance of sports facility cannot be ignored in any way. On the other hand, other measures like reducing water contamination, environmental pollution, air and sound pollution etc. are important to improve public health. Doctors always prescribe for fresh air which is very important for healthiness. Moreover, there are a number of deadly viruses transmits via air and water. So, if we can reduce air and water pollution, it will help to improve public health certainly. Finally, everybody needs to understand the reasons behind health deterioration. All specialist doctor related to public health emphasises the importance of pollution free environment, balanced diet as well as an increase of sports facilities. In my opinion, various measures need to be taken to improve public health by the appropriate authority rather than concentrating on a particular issue like increasing sports facilities only.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities are essential for improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as sporting activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to maintain body diet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facility is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. While a healthy place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy life, living in a dirty place and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
foods lead to numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures
are required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
along with the increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities.

Sports facilities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
either
directly
or
indirectly
. If you exercise
regularly
, you will have less disease than others who do not exercise at all. Beside this, doctors always prescribe to walk in the morning for controlling various diseases like diabetes.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the children grow healthy and tall.
Furthermore
, to the fact, sporting activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
you away from getting addicted to alcohol or drugs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facility cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
in any way.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures like reducing water contamination, environmental
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pollution
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and sound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
etc. are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Doctors always prescribe for fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for healthiness.
Moreover
, there are a number of deadly viruses transmits via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and water.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
certainly
.

Finally
, everybody needs to understand the reasons behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
deterioration. All specialist doctor related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "emphases", the plural form of the noun 'emphasis'?
emphasises
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
free environment, balanced diet
as well
as an increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities. In my opinion, various measures need to
be taken
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by the appropriate authority
rather
than concentrating on a particular issue like increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 49

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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