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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. v.40

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 40
In the recent times, many people are certainly becoming aware about the robustness. Some people perceive that whether the government should build many sports complex, which helps to improve the health of people. However, others believe that this would be not much impactful as they start another action. The essay will discuss above notion with arguments in below paragraphs. To begin with, the predominant reason is to build an innumerable of sports complex is gives an opportunity to the people to participate in this activity. These places having a latest technology and an instrument will attract the people from the cities. Moreover, population in the urban area is increasing drastically. This will demand to build more sports facilities. Although, nowadays, many people are living a sedentary lifestyle as suffering from many health issues, this will be managed by this activity as it burns the calories. For example, Research conducted shows that in this modernized world, people are eating junk food, this type of places helps them to manage their fitness. On the other hand, these places can give little impact on the health of people and others think that some other factors have been involved. The first reason is that people having more responsibilities at their workplace which delivers the stress. So, the authority should impose the laws which reduce the working hours, as a person can get enough time to relax. Furthermore, the government should start the awareness programs which promote healthier food. This would be considered as a key parameter to manage health. For instance, parents can give healthy life to their children by giving fresh foods, fruits and milk in their meal. In conclusion, as per my opinion, the increased sports facility would provide the place where one should do physical activity and improves their health. But other factors such as food and stress also give impact on the health which managed by taking healthy food. As a result, balance of both notion is needed.
In the recent times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
certainly
becoming aware about the robustness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perceive that whether the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
complex, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, others believe that this would be not much impactful as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
another action. The essay will discuss above notion with arguments in below paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the predominant reason is to build
The phrase 'an innumerable of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an innumerable of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
complex is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
an opportunity to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to participate in this activity. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
having
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
latest technology and an instrument will attract the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the cities.
Moreover
, population in the urban area is increasing
drastically
. This will demand to build more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities. Although, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living a sedentary lifestyle as suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues, this will
be managed
by this activity as it burns the calories.
For example
, Research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that in this modernized world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are eating junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to manage their fitness.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors have
been involved
. The
first
reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having more responsibilities at their workplace which delivers the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the authority should impose the laws which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the working hours, as a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to relax.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the awareness programs which promote healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This would
be considered
as a key parameter to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, parents can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
healthy life to their children by giving fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, fruits and milk in their meal.

In conclusion
, as per my opinion, the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facility would provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where one should do physical activity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
which managed by taking healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
As a result
, balance of both notion
is needed
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 40

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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