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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.4

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 4
It is often argued that expanding the number of leisure amenities is the most appropriate way of boosting the health of the general public, while others feel that this is not a viable solution and believe other steps are needed. This essay will argue that sports complexes are not the best answer and education is a more suitable option. A greater availability of recreation facilities might help some become healthier, but it is unlikely to have an effect on the unhealthy masses. Most health problems do not stem from a lack of opportunities, but from a lack of motivation. For example, Cambridge University found in a recent study that 62% of men and women who paid for an annual gym membership failed to go entirely after just one month. A public awareness campaign about the dangers a sedentary lifestyle can have on one’s fitness would affect not only people’s well-being but also their understanding of the issue. This is because most men and women are unaware of the harm they are doing to themselves by not exercising regularly and warning them about the risk factors would have a motivating effect. For instance, the ‘Go walking’ campaign in Northern Ireland in 2006 led to obesity-related illnesses, like heart disease and stroke, falling by almost a quarter. In conclusion, although an increased availability of sports centres can influence the wellness of the public to a certain extent, it is only through education that the real benefits can be realised.
It is
often
argued that expanding the number of leisure amenities is the most appropriate way of boosting the health of the
general public
, while others feel that this is not a viable solution and believe other steps
are needed
. This essay will argue that sports complexes are not the best answer and education is a more suitable option.

A greater availability of recreation facilities might
help
some
become healthier,
but
it is unlikely to have an effect on the unhealthy masses. Most health problems do not stem from a lack of opportunities,
but
from a lack of motivation.
For example
, Cambridge University found in a recent study that 62% of
men
and women who paid for an annual gym membership failed to go
entirely
after
just
one month.

A public awareness campaign about the
dangers
a sedentary lifestyle can have on one’s fitness would affect not
only
people
’s well-being
but
also
their understanding of the issue. This is
because
most
men
and women are unaware of the harm they are doing to themselves by not exercising
regularly
and warning them about the
risk
factors would have a motivating effect.
For instance
, the ‘Go walking’ campaign in Northern Ireland in 2006 led to obesity-related illnesses, like heart disease and stroke, falling by almost a quarter.

In conclusion
, although an increased availability of sports
centres
can influence the wellness of the public to a certain extent, it is
only
through education that the real benefits can be
realised
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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