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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.37

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 37
Although some people have a perception that adding more sports services can enhance the overall communal health, others think that it would not be a potentially effective method and some other considerations are necessary. While increasing the proportion of sports resources will make them more accessible, I believe that the public awareness campaign can be helpful. Having effortless access to sports can rigorously increase the chances that people will more likely to get encouragement and motivation. This is to say that people go to the gym that is closest to their house if there would not be the availability of resources to exercise, there are very few chances that people make an effort to do some physical exercise. For instance, a research report published in the Daily times states that people are 33% healthier in the community in which they have more access to sports facilities than those who live 2 km away from the gym. However, other factors such as a public campaign to aware humans of the consequences of opting sedentary lifestyle. This can be spread in the form of advertisements, and social media are the most effective platform for the input people with healthy eating and workout habits. Moreover, these campaigns should be implemented in schools regularly to encourage the next generation to adopt a more active and healthy routine. Schoolers will share this knowledge with their parents, so this movement can indirectly reach everyone. For example, a survey published by BBC news stated that people who are aware of the benefits of doing regular are healthier than those who had very little information about workout benefits. In conclusion, providing the general public with plenty of sports benefits extremely beneficial because it makes exercising tools more reachable; however, imparting knowledge of doing exercise regularly in the form of operations to enhance the health of the general public is another factor which should be getting into consideration.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a perception that adding more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
services can enhance the
overall
communal health, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it would not be a
potentially
effective method and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other considerations are necessary. While increasing the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
resources will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more accessible, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
awareness campaign can be helpful.

Having effortless access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can
rigorously
increase the chances that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
encouragement and motivation. This is to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to the gym
that is
closest to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
if there would not be the availability of resources to exercise, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few chances that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical exercise.
For instance
, a research report published in the Daily times states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are 33% healthier in the community in which they have more access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities than those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
2 km away from the gym.

However
, other factors such as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
campaign to aware humans of the consequences of opting sedentary lifestyle. This can
be spread
in the form of advertisements, and social media are the most effective platform for the input
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with healthy eating and workout habits.
Moreover
, these campaigns should
be implemented
in schools
regularly
to encourage the
next
generation to adopt a more active and healthy routine. Schoolers will share this knowledge with their parents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this movement can
indirectly
reach everyone.
For example
, a survey published by BBC news stated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are aware of the benefits of doing regular are healthier than those who had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
information about workout benefits.

In conclusion
, providing the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
benefits
extremely
beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
exercising tools more reachable;
however
, imparting knowledge of doing exercise
regularly
in the form of operations to enhance the health of the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
is another factor which should be getting into consideration.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 37

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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