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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.35

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 35
Some people would argue that the most effective method in improving public health is by adding more sports facilities, while some say that this would have a small impact on public health, and other options are necessary. Although providing more sports arena is the best method to improve health, I believe it is better to issue free medical insurance and also, educate people on a healthy lifestyle. On the one hand, providing more sports facilities are very important to boost public health. Having more sports facilities means more people will be able to do physical fitness activities. As a result, the public will have stable health conditions away from related illnesses such as diabetes or heart disease. For example, in 2019, the Department of Health reported, public health increased by 20% because of more sports facilities were constructed that encourages people to do exercise. However, I believe it is better to provide free health insurance as well as educate them on a healthy diet. On the other hand, free medical insurance and proper education on healthy living are the most effective method to improve public health. Many people will have an awareness of how to stay healthy by eating non-fatty foods. In addition, free medical services are beneficial to many people because they can visit health clinics at no cost. For instance, Singapore has the highest rate of healthy people in Asia because of the government's campaign to educate people on a healthy lifestyle and also, providing them with free health insurance. Therefore, I believe that the most effective method to improve health is by providing free health services and proper education on healthy living. In conclusion, although, sports facilities are the best ways to improve health, I believe, free health insurance and proper information about a healthy lifestyle are the most efficient means to improve public health.
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Some
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people
would argue that the most effective
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method
in improving
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public
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health
is by adding more
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sports
facilities, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say that this would have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
impact on
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public
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health
, and other options are necessary. Although providing more
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sports
arena is the best
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method
to
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improve
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health
, I
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believe
it is better to issue
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free
medical
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insurance
and
also
, educate
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people
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.

On the one hand, providing more
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sports
facilities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities means more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to do physical fitness activities.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
will have stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions away from related illnesses such as diabetes or heart disease.
For example
, in 2019, the Department of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
reported,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
increased by 20%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities
were constructed
that encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do exercise.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
it is better to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
as well
as educate them on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
and proper education on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
living are the most effective
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method
to
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improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
will have an awareness of how to stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
by eating non-fatty foods.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
medical services are beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
clinics at no cost.
For instance
, Singapore has the highest rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Asia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's campaign to educate
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people
on a
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healthy
lifestyle and
also
, providing them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
.
Therefore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the most effective
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method
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services and proper education on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
living.

In conclusion
, although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities are the best ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
and proper information about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle are the most efficient means to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 35

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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