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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Other say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both view and your opinion. v.31

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Other say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 31
It is argued that the most effective method to enhance the level of the community’s overall health is to provide more sports infrastructures. However, I do agree with this statement, but in my opinion, it is not the most effective way. Many other viable approaches have also proven to be beneficial in order to achieve this goal which will be discussed as follows. In the first place, sports facilities have undoubtedly played a key role in encouraging people to do sports more often, which obviously benefits their health. For instance, a particular sport centre where it provides the locals with a variety of modern facilities such as football fields or swimming pools would definitely be a preferred choice as well as an ideal place for those who do more than one sport. To be clearer, a park with several spacious playgrounds would be a great example. Nowadays, these outdoor areas are well equipped with a wide range of sport facilities such as a workout bar serving for many physical exercises or a long running track for energetic runners. All these low-cost, readily available sports equipment and facilities will act as a huge motivation for people to train themselves more frequently. Therefore, it is advisable to make them more accessible by increasing their number, so that people’s fitness and health levels will be greatly improved. On the other hand, several alternative approaches are also advantageous in fulfilling this target. Firstly, it is crucial for the government to pay close attention to investing in its health care systems such as local hospitals or training programmes for experienced doctors. Hence, citizens can have reliable tools to maintain their health. Secondly, a great number of dangerous diseases stem from unwholesome food products, especially fast food and food of unknown origins. The government should also need to implement effective policies that can control and minimize their quantity such as a higher tax on such products. Finally, people need to be more well-aware of what habits are potentially detrimental for their health by broadening their knowledge in this important field via health-related books or social media. In conclusion, providing more sports facilities is a good idea to enhance a community’s strength. Nevertheless, there is also a wide range of other feasible ways to tackle this issue.
It
is argued
that the most effective method to enhance the level of the community’s
overall
health
is to provide more
sports
infrastructures.
However
, I do
agree
with this statement,
but
in my opinion, it is not the most effective way.
Many
other viable approaches have
also
proven to be beneficial in order to achieve this goal which will
be discussed
as follows.

In the
first
place,
sports
facilities have
undoubtedly
played a key role in encouraging
people
to do
sports
more
often
, which
obviously
benefits their
health
.
For instance
, a particular
sport
centre
where it provides the locals with a variety of modern facilities such as football fields or swimming pools would definitely be a preferred choice
as well
as an ideal place for those who do more than one
sport
. To be clearer, a park with several spacious playgrounds would be a great example. Nowadays, these outdoor areas are
well equipped
with a wide range of
sport
facilities such as a workout bar serving for
many
physical exercises or a
long running
track
for energetic runners. All these low-cost,
readily
available
sports
equipment and facilities will act as a huge motivation for
people
to train themselves more
frequently
.
Therefore
, it is advisable to
make
them more accessible by increasing their number,
so
that
people’s
fitness and
health
levels will be
greatly
improved
.

On the other hand
, several alternative approaches are
also
advantageous in fulfilling this target.
Firstly
, it is crucial for the
government
to pay close attention to investing in its
health
care systems such as local hospitals or training
programmes
for experienced doctors.
Hence
, citizens can have reliable tools to maintain their
health
.
Secondly
, a great number of
dangerous
diseases stem from unwholesome food products,
especially
fast
food and food of unknown origins. The
government
should
also
need to implement effective policies that can control and minimize their quantity such as a higher tax on such products.
Finally
,
people
need to be more well-aware of what habits are
potentially
detrimental for their
health
by broadening their knowledge in this
important
field via health-related books or social media.

In conclusion
, providing more
sports
facilities is a
good
idea
to enhance a community’s strength.
Nevertheless
, there is
also
a wide range of other feasible ways to tackle this issue.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Other say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 31

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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