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SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE BEST WAY TO IMPROVE PUBLIC HEALTH IS BY INCREASING THE NUMBER OF SPORTS FACILITIES. OTHERS, HOWEVER, SAY THAT THIS WOULD HAVE LITTLE EFFECT ON PUBLIC HEALTH AND THAT OTHER MEASURES ARE REQUIRED. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION. v.25

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE BEST WAY TO IMPROVE PUBLIC HEALTH IS BY INCREASING THE NUMBER OF SPORTS FACILITIES. OTHERS, HOWEVER, SAY THAT THIS WOULD HAVE LITTLE EFFECT ON PUBLIC HEALTH AND THAT OTHER MEASURES ARE REQUIRED. v. 25
Public health development is not only depends on sports facilities I agree with that, some people are too. For that the government should take action on drink product such as restaurants, Packing the items. In this essay we can discuss both views Sports and food basis. To begin with, the Games provide physical fitness for human beings that would be the best way for children, While they spend a period of time for health activities. Community centres are given lots of opportunities to adults and senior citizens in their locality but due to heavy population few number people are using that. In addition, The community centre would not provide all facilities to all because sports are different types, Its depends on the ages. For example, Senior citizens may not utilise basketball, tennis that such type of games at the same time kids and middle age people can utilize that. So If we increase the sports facilities we should not develop human health. Secondly, Nowadays, farmers are increasing their groceries and vegetables through pouring urea and ammonia that will be effected on peoples' health. The government should provide subsidiaries to get organic soil and other needed compost then encourages farmers. On the other hand, restaurants, hostels have been using lots of quality less oils and storage food to their customers. Society must handle this issue and take necessary action against that. Manufacturing companies are using different types of storing ingredients for Packing food that's having so much carbohydrates those effects on physical fitness. For example, restaurants have given day before yesterday food to the customer sometimes that will be spoiled that unessential to the customer. I have to come to a Conclusion, To avoid outside food as well as government should focus on rules definitely follow every restaurant. Sports also best way to improving peoples' health but not to all.
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
development is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are too. For that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take action on drink product such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
, Packing the items. In this essay we can discuss both views
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
basis.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the Games provide physical fitness for human beings that would be the best way for children, While they spend a period of time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
activities. Community
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
lots of opportunities to adults and senior citizens in their locality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to heavy population few number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using that.
In addition
, The community
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
would not provide all facilities to all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types, Its depends on the ages.
For example
, Senior citizens may not
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
basketball, tennis that such type of games at the same time kids and middle age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
Do not mix variants of the same word ('utilize' and 'utilise') within a single text.
utilize
that.
“So If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So If
we increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities we should not develop human health.

Secondly
, Nowadays, farmers are increasing their groceries and vegetables through pouring urea and ammonia that will
be effected
on peoples'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide subsidiaries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
organic soil and other needed compost then encourages farmers.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
, hostels have been using lots of quality
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun oils is countable.
less
oils and storage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to their customers. Society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
handle this issue and take necessary action against that. Manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of storing ingredients for Packing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that's having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
carbohydrates those effects on physical fitness.
For example
,
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restaurants
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
yesterday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to the customer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
that will
be spoiled
that unessential to the customer.

I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a Conclusion, To avoid outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should focus on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
definitely follow every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
A determiner is probably missing here: "also the best".
also best
way to improving peoples'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not to all.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE BEST WAY TO IMPROVE PUBLIC HEALTH IS BY INCREASING THE NUMBER OF SPORTS FACILITIES. OTHERS, HOWEVER, SAY THAT THIS WOULD HAVE LITTLE EFFECT ON PUBLIC HEALTH AND THAT OTHER MEASURES ARE REQUIRED. v. 25

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
309 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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