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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little affect on public health and other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.24

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little affect on public health and other measure are required. v. 24
Everyone wants health protection. Sports are virtue for a healthy lifestyle. Certain human beings assume that sports could be beneficial for freedom from diseases. On the opposite side, few claim that games have less impact on community health, so, other needs are also important. In today's world life is very busy. Everyone almost has no time to take part in physical activities, but persons should be encouraged to take part in physical games to get rid of fitness downfalls. Illness issues can be reduced through body activities. Therefore, sports resources must be available in large numbers to prevent society from sickness. As a model like successful or educated citizens engage in huge quantity of sports and they also urge such sources which can be helpful to increase body games. So, sports are very significant for every person who is facing health problems by doing this he can resist sickness. While, others consensus that different steps are also valuable to prevent citizens from weakness over sports. Hence, for the safety of public health there are many other steps are needed. Environmental issues regarding health are increasing day by day. Officials must reduce environmental concerns and atmosphere must be clean and safe to breath in. Sources in the form of pollution must be banned by governments. Health budget and public awareness can be helpful in this situation. The whole world is facing new viruses and any data is related to that epidemic virus must be shared freely. For example, first world countries are taking different steps to protect their people from different diseases. So, other measures are also arrogant to safe communities from sickness over sports. To sum up, no one can deny the importance of physical games, but other actions are also required like health budget, public knowledge on diseases and reduction of environmental downfalls.
Everyone wants
health
protection.
Sports
are virtue for a healthy lifestyle. Certain human beings assume that
sports
could be beneficial for freedom from diseases. On the opposite side,
few claim
that
games
have less impact on community
health
,
so
,
other
needs are
also
important
.

In
today
's world life is
very
busy. Everyone almost has no time to
take part
in physical activities,
but
persons should
be encouraged
to
take part
in physical
games
to
get
rid of fitness downfalls. Illness issues can be
reduced
through body activities.
Therefore
,
sports
resources
must
be available in large numbers to
prevent
society from sickness. As a model like successful or educated citizens engage in huge quantity of
sports and
they
also
urge such sources which can be helpful to increase body
games
.
So
,
sports
are
very
significant for every person who is facing
health
problems by doing this he can resist sickness.

While
, others consensus that
different
steps are
also
valuable to
prevent
citizens from weakness over
sports
.
Hence
, for the safety of public
health
there are
many
other
steps
are needed
. Environmental issues regarding
health
are increasing day by day. Officials
must
reduce
environmental concerns and atmosphere
must
be clean and safe to breath in. Sources in the form of pollution
must
be banned
by
governments
.
Health
budget and public awareness can be helpful in this situation. The whole world is facing new viruses and any data
is related
to that epidemic virus
must
be shared
freely
.
For example
,
first
world countries are taking
different
steps to protect their
people
from
different
diseases.
So
,
other
measures are
also
arrogant to safe communities from sickness over sports.

To sum up, no one can deny the importance of physical
games
,
but
other
actions are
also
required like
health
budget, public knowledge on diseases and reduction of environmental downfalls.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little affect on public health and other measure are required. v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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