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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.23

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 23
In Some people opinion increasing number of sports facilities will be the best way to improve public health while remaining says that it could only have a minute effect and further more precaution measurements are also required. This essay agrees that by providing a large number of sports facilities will be the concrete step towards the betterment of public health. This essay will discuss both points of view. It is cleared by the doctors and research that Sound body has a sound mind. Therefore, it is the key responsibility of every state and government to provide proper facilities to the public so that they can improve their living habits and add proper exercise in daily routine by involving their self in different sports. Physical activity helps to burn calories and risk of heart attack can be reduced. In 2018, a report published by "National Tv" stated that ratio of illness and sickness is low as compared to those who are not involved in any sports activity. However, in addition to the above, by providing all sports facilities does not guarantee that everyone can be physically fit. State or government should take concrete steps in order to ensure that the maximum number of people can utilize these facilities. Awareness regarding the sport's importance in Peron health can be spread through social media or Tv Channels. In my opinion, I believed that by providing different sports facilities can help humanity in maintaining the healthy life by effective utilization of those and take out time from out busier life. However, government should be keen enough to provide awareness about sports.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opinion increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities will be the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
public health while remaining says that it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have a minute effect and
further
more precaution measurements are
also
required. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that by providing
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities will be the concrete step towards the betterment of public health. This essay will discuss both points of view.

It
is cleared
by the doctors and research that Sound body has a sound mind.
Therefore
, it is the key responsibility of every state and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to provide proper facilities to the public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living habits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
proper exercise in daily routine by involving their self in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Physical activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to burn calories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of heart attack can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. In 2018, a report published by
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
National
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
stated that ratio of illness and sickness is low as compared to those who are not involved in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activity.

However
,
in addition
to the above, by providing all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities does not guarantee that everyone can be
physically
fit. State or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take concrete steps in order to ensure that the maximum number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can utilize these facilities. Awareness regarding the sport's importance in Peron health can
be spread
through social media or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
Channels.

In my opinion, I believed that by providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
humanity in maintaining the healthy life by effective utilization of those and take out time from out busier life.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be keen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to provide awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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