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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.15

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 15
Some people argue that building more sporting facilities is the most effective way to improve public health; however, others argue that playing a sport or building more sports clubs alone is not sufficient. According to them, other measures are required to ensure public health. I do admit that sports are beneficial for health, but in my opinion people also need to follow a healthy diet and a healthy lifestyle. Beyond doubt, there are several benefits to indulging in sporting activities. Most of the outdoor and indoor sports require physical effort and this in turn makes a person active and flexible. This definitely helps to better the physical body. To illustrate, a person indulging in regular sports is bound to be fitter than a person who does not participate in any major physical activities or sports. In addition to that, playing a sport benefits the mental health and keeps a person agile and active in their thinking. Thus, we can see why some people are of the view that playing sports is the most ideal way to attain balanced health. However, playing a sport alone is not sufficient. It is also important for people to watch their diet. If they follow a nutritious diet and play a sport regularly, they have very good chances of maintaining good health. For example, no matter how much sport we play it is not going to be that effective until we follow a proper diet and exercise regime. Exercise helps the body to gain the agility and lose extra calories and a balanced diet makes sure that the amount of supplements required to the body is supplied in an efficient way and the body does not put on the extra calories and fat. Therefore, it is clear why people consider measures like exercise and balanced diet more effective than merely playing sport to attain good health. To conclude, people might vary in their opinion but I firmly advocate that playing a sport alone will not be that effective in improving the fitness level of a person. In addition to playing, people should exercise regularly and eat a balanced diet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that building more sporting facilities is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
;
however
, others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
or building more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs alone is not sufficient. According to them, other measures
are required
to ensure public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. I do admit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
need to follow a healthy diet and a healthy lifestyle.

Beyond doubt, there are several benefits to indulging in sporting activities. Most of the outdoor and indoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
require physical effort and this in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
active and flexible. This definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to better the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
. To illustrate, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
indulging in regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is bound
to be fitter than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who does not participate in any major physical activities or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
benefits the mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
agile and active in their thinking.
Thus
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is the most ideal way to attain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
health.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
alone is not sufficient. It is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their diet. If they follow a nutritious diet and play a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
regularly
, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chances of maintaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For example
, no matter how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
we play it is not going to be that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
until we follow a proper diet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
regime.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
to gain the agility and lose extra calories and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sure that the amount of supplements required to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
is supplied
Consider replacing "in an efficient way" with the adverb for "efficient"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an efficient way
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
does not put on the extra calories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider measures like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
than
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
to attain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might vary in their opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
firmly
advocate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
alone will not be that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
in improving the fitness level of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
In addition
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
regularly
and eat a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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