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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.12

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 12
It is often argued that expanding the number of leisure amenities is the most appropriate way of boosting the health of the general public, while others feel that this is not a viable solution and believe other steps are needed. This essay will argue that sports complexes are not the best answer and education is a more suitable option. Firstly, it is understandable that sports play a fundamental role not only in preventing diseases such as diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure but also in the treatment of them. For example, individuals who practice sports regularly significantly decreased the incidence of obesity by about 25%. In addition, sports facilities are places of social activities which in turn enhance the psychological condition of people thus protecting them from diseases related to stress such as depression and anxiety disorders. Lastly, improving the fitness of the individuals particularly youngsters will increase the productivity of the society besides improving the public health. Undoubtedly, increasing numbers of leisure centers will positively influence the public health. However, establishing more sports centers and maintaining all of them are expensive and it does not guarantee the participation of all community members. Undoubtedly, to increase public health, the government should launch a publicity campaign in the media and in schools to educate people about the importance of staying healthy. This could take the form of printed advertisements and social media telling people why they should stay away from sedentary lifestyles and be engaged in sports activities. To illustrate, a similar initiative in Japan resulted in a 56% increase in the number of residents who were involved in physical activities on a weekly basis. I believe that this sort of education is preferable because it encourages people to live more actively. To conclude, I wholeheartedly welcome the idea of establishing more sports facilities for community members as these amenities are very useful for a healthy society. I also believe that other measures along with this initiatives are required to build a healthy nation.
It is
often
argued that expanding the number of leisure amenities is the most appropriate way of boosting the health of the general
public
, while others feel that this is not a viable solution and believe other steps
are needed
. This essay will argue that
sports
complexes are not the best answer and education is a more suitable option.

Firstly
, it is understandable that
sports
play a fundamental role not
only
in preventing diseases such as diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure
but
also
in the treatment of them.
For example
, individuals who practice
sports
regularly
significantly
decreased the incidence of obesity by about 25%.
In addition
,
sports
facilities are places of social activities which in turn enhance the psychological condition of
people
thus
protecting them from diseases related to
stress
such as depression and anxiety disorders.
Lastly
, improving the fitness of the individuals
particularly
youngsters will increase the productivity of the society
besides
improving the
public
health.
Undoubtedly
, increasing numbers of leisure centers will
positively
influence the
public
health.

However
, establishing more
sports
centers and maintaining all of them are expensive and it does not guarantee the participation of all community members.
Undoubtedly
, to increase
public
health, the
government
should launch a publicity campaign in the media and in schools to educate
people
about the importance of staying healthy. This could take the form of printed advertisements and social media telling
people
why they should stay away from sedentary lifestyles and
be engaged
in
sports
activities. To illustrate, a similar initiative in Japan resulted in a 56% increase in the number of residents who
were involved
in physical activities on a weekly basis. I believe that this sort of education is preferable
because
it encourages
people
to
live
more
actively
.

To conclude
, I
wholeheartedly
welcome the
idea
of establishing more
sports
facilities for community members as these amenities are
very
useful for a healthy society. I
also
believe that other measures along with
this
initiatives
are required
to build a healthy nation.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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