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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, says that this would have little effect on public health and others measures are required. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion. v.11

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, says that this would have little effect on public health and others measures are required. v. 11
A group of people believe that doing sports is very beneficial for health of public. On the contrary others presume that only playing games are not sufficient and other approaches should be taken into account such as nutritious diet plan and clear environment. I personally believe that other measures should be taken into account which is related to environment and food, along with increase in fitness activities. This essay shall elaborate both the views how people can benefit by implementing these ways on their routine life. To embark upon, the first and foremost benefits is enormous effect of games is uplifting of physical body. By this I mean, either people do exercise regularly or playing games in certain periods, will have less chances of obesity and disease than those who do not exercise at all. For instance, doctors always prescribed to morning walk and fitness classes to them who are suffered from diseases as diabetes and obesity. On top of that, playing sports benefits the mental health and keep person agile. In other words, engagement in various activities leads to improve in level of concentration and relieve stress which is due to hectic work schedule. For example, in my place, we have part time session like yoga, karate and dance for those who are interested. Thus, playing games not only increasing our fitness, it also helps us to make mindful thoughts in routine life. On the other hand, playing sports are not only enough. This is to say that if people will follow proper diet charts and experience games regularly, they have better opportunities to maintain state of well being. For illustration, people who are feeling weak while gym, are consuming calorically food which is dangerous for health. Furthermore, environmental issues are also becoming key are of concern for state of well being. We can say that, there are number of virus which can be transmitted through air and water to create complex diseases. One clear example is corona virus which is spreading world- wide via direct or in direct contact. In conclusion, both views are of great in improving public health but I think that, combination of sports and other measures can be more effective.
A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of public.
On the contrary
others presume that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are not sufficient and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
approaches should
be taken
into account such as nutritious diet plan and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
environment. I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures should
be taken
into account which
is related
to environment and food, along with increase in fitness activities. This essay shall elaborate both the views how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can benefit by implementing these ways on their routine life.

To embark upon, the
first
and foremost benefits is enormous effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is uplifting of physical body. By this I mean, either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do exercise
regularly
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in certain periods, will have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances of obesity and disease than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not exercise at all.
For instance
, doctors always prescribed to morning walk and fitness classes to them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are suffered
from diseases as diabetes and obesity.
On top of that
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
benefits the mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
person agile. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, engagement in various activities leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in level of concentration and relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
which is due to hectic work schedule.
For example
, in my place, we have
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
session like yoga, karate and dance for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are interested
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increasing our fitness, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mindful thoughts in routine life.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. This is to say that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will follow proper diet charts and experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
regularly
, they have better opportunities to maintain state of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
. For illustration,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are feeling weak while gym, are consuming
Possible spelling mistake found.
calorically
food which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Furthermore
, environmental issues are
also
becoming key are of concern for state of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
. We can say that, there are number of virus which can
be transmitted
through air and water to create complex diseases. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example is
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
which is spreading world- wide via direct or in direct contact.

In conclusion
, both views are of great in improving public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures can be more effective.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, says that this would have little effect on public health and others measures are required. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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