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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 1
Health is a major cause of concern for many in current times. Various people believe that public health could be improved by increasing the number of sports provisions, however others believe that other solutions are also required. In my opinion, the increase in the number of sports provisions would have a tremendous positive impact on public health. This essay will discuss both the view points. Increasing the number of sports facilities in an area has an immense positive effect on the health of people. As people have access to amenities and facilities like play grounds, gyms, swimming pools, they tend to be less lethargic and more active in their daily lives. It not only has an impact on physical health, but also has a positive impact on the mental health of people. By going to such places, people interact with each other, thus it gives a boost to their social life as well, which reduces stress level and improves health. A recent research by the Times Of India has shown that seven out of ten people, living in societies with good sports facilities have no signs of mordern day diseases like high blood pressure or diabeties. Although improving and increasing the sports facilities is important, other measures such as reducing the cost of hospitalisation and medicine should also be considered. The cost of hospitalisation and medicine is steeply increasing and it is important that the policy makers must consider the ways to reduce the same. It negatively impacts people and creates unnecessary stress and pressure over the person who is ill along with their families. The research done in 2018 by the WHO has shown that the cost of hospital bills has doubled in the last ten years. In conclusion, better and more sports facilities for people will improve overall public health and there will be comparitively less people falling sick. Though, reducing the hospital cost and bill is important but in my opinion if people will fall less sick by being active then the other solution may not even be needed. Healthier people create a healthy and a happy world and we all must strive for it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is a major cause of concern for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
times. Various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
provisions,
however
others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
solutions are
also
required. In my opinion, the increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
provisions would have a tremendous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This essay will discuss both the view points.

Increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities in an area has an immense
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have access to amenities and facilities like play grounds, gyms, swimming pools, they tend to be less lethargic and more active in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. By going to such places,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interact with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
thus
it gives a boost to their social life
as well
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. A recent research by
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times Of India
has shown that seven out of ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, living in societies with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities have no signs of
Possible spelling mistake found.
mordern
day diseases like high blood pressure or
Possible spelling mistake found.
diabeties
.

Although improving and increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures such as reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalisation' is British English.
hospitalisation
and medicine should
also
be considered
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalisation' is British English.
hospitalisation
and medicine is
steeply
increasing and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy makers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider the ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the same. It
negatively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and creates unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure over the person who is ill along with their families. The research done in 2018 by the WHO has shown that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of hospital bills has doubled in the last ten years.

In conclusion
, better and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
overall
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and there will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
comparitively
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
falling sick. Though, reducing the hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
and bill is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will fall less sick by being active then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
solution may not even
be needed
. Healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
create a healthy and a happy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
we all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
strive for it.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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