Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 1
There is an argument on whether to build more sports facilities could improve public health. People who support it may say this initiative will make people to do more exercise, the other might say this has little to do with and it’s better to focus on other measures. Firstly, let’s break down the issue, advocates for increasing the number of sport venues have said that this could give people more chances to leave their house and do exercises. For example, if there is a new arena in a neighbourhood, people will come and play because they have a place to do exercises. If such that thing happened, it would improve the health and also the quality of life in the neighbourhood. Secondly, although this measure seems easy to do and logical, it isn’t always the only path to improve health care. Some critics say that it is a waste of money to so. Their reason is, for instance, there is a brand new sports centre, but, it only has the basketball courts and people who can’t play won’t go to this place, and still, stay in their houses and do no exercises at all. The same critics also argued that it is better to make the public to understand the importances of exercising and keeping their body healthy. Finally, in my perspective, I think it is ideal to both providing the adequate numbers of places and equipment to do such exercises and promoting the benefits of keeping the body fit. So, the best solution to keep our population to be healthy is mixing those ideas mentioned above and then, create the common viewpoint.
There is an argument on whether to build more sports facilities could
improve
public health.
People
who support it may say this initiative will
make
people
to do more
exercise
, the other might say this has
little
to do with and it’s better to focus on other measures.

Firstly
,
let
’s break down the issue, advocates for increasing the number of sport venues have said that this could give
people
more chances to
leave
their
house
and do
exercises
.
For example
, if there is a new arena in a
neighbourhood
,
people
will
come
and play
because
they have a place to do
exercises
. If such that thing happened, it would
improve
the health and
also
the quality of life in the
neighbourhood
.

Secondly
, although this measure seems easy to do and logical, it isn’t always the
only
path to
improve
health care.
Some
critics say that it is a waste of money to
so
. Their reason is,
for instance
, there is a brand new sports
centre
,
but
, it
only
has the basketball courts and
people
who can’t play won’t go to this place, and
still
, stay in their
houses
and do no
exercises
at all. The same critics
also
argued that it is better to
make
the public to understand the
importances
of exercising and keeping their body healthy.

Finally
, in my perspective, I
think
it is ideal to both providing the adequate numbers of places and equipment to do such
exercises
and promoting the benefits of keeping the body fit.
So
, the best solution to
keep
our population to be healthy is mixing those
ideas
mentioned above and then, create the common viewpoint.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts