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Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. v.9

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. v. 9
It is always debatable whether visitors should follow local customs and behaviour or the country should be accustomed to cultural differences. At first, I would like to discuss following local customs and behaviour. As a human being, we have consciousness which helps us to decide what is right or wrong that we apply in every sphere of our life. But everybody may not apply consciousness or may not have the same level of consciousness to apply. If one does not follow local customs, he/she may not be taken warmly by people of that country. Due to this reason, I believe that everybody who visits other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Beside this, local customs and behaviour are mostly regulated by the religion of the country which is very sensitive to most people. That is why I agree with the view of following local customs and behaviour. In the other hand, there are many reasons to agree with the second view that the host country should welcome cultural differences. It is universally true that the civilisation is evolving from the beginning of mankind and the main reason behind this is that people are travelling from one place to another to explore the world which brings new cultures to new places. If one fails to welcome cultural differences, he/she will not be able to cope with cultures of other countries. This will impact the economy in terms of tourism and modernization as well as evaluation of civilisation. A good example of welcoming cultural differences is Malaysia. People of western countries are travelling to Malaysia and most of them are not used to follow local customs and being a Muslim country, Malaysia also providing freedom to visitors until laws are broken. Malaysia has become an example for other countries to welcome cultural differences. That is why cultural differences should always be welcomed until it hurts your philosophy or religion.
It is always debatable whether visitors should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should
be accustomed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
. At
first
, I would like to discuss following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. As a human being, we have consciousness which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to decide what is right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
that we apply in every sphere of our life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
everybody may not apply consciousness or may not have the same level of consciousness to apply.

If one does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs, he/she may not
be taken
warmly
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Due to this reason, I believe that everybody who visits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Beside this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
are
mostly
regulated by the religion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sensitive to most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
That is
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view of following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second view that the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should welcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
. It is
universally
true that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
is evolving from the beginning of mankind and the main reason behind this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are travelling from one place to another to explore the world which brings new cultures to new places. If one fails to welcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
, he/she will not be able to cope with cultures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This will impact the economy in terms of tourism and modernization
as well
as evaluation of
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of welcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
is Malaysia.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are travelling to Malaysia and most of them are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and being a Muslim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, Malaysia
also
providing freedom to visitors until laws
are broken
. Malaysia has become an example for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to welcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
should always
be welcomed
until it hurts your philosophy or religion.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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