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Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.6

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. v. 6
Some are of the view that nature has equipped males with better capability than the other gender such as females. I completely agree with this opinion as men have gifted with more physical endurance and mental rationality. To begin with, more physical strength has given to men by mother nature which makes them superior than females in many areas. This means males are empowered by strong bones and muscles which enable them to carry out work which demands a considerable amount of physical efforts. Additionally, they can easily continue to work for extended hours without food or even without taking a break. For example, men can be usually seen working as a mansion or truck drivers which needs physical resilience, and often eat or take a break when they finish the job. Furthermore, most of the men are gifted by nature with the strong mental power which enable them to handle any sort of tough situation. This means they can easily combat almost any emotional situation of life by applying their rational approach and safeguard themselves from any psychological trauma. For example, when a man faces any hard situation in life such as losing their loved ones or getting divorced, they usually cope up with the same with ease comparatively than women. To conclude, every person is different in terms of natural capabilities, hence, I fully agree that men are superior than women as they possess a high level of physical and mental strength. Thus, they often handle almost every tough situation using their physical capacity and by applying rational thinking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of the view that nature has equipped males with better capability than the other gender such as females. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
have gifted with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
endurance and mental rationality.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
strength has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
by mother nature which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
Some adjectives derived from Latin act as both adjective and comparative. In these cases use the collocation 'to'
superior than
females in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas. This means males
are empowered
by strong bones and muscles which enable them to carry out work which demands a considerable amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
efforts.
Additionally
, they can
easily
continue to work for extended hours without food or even without taking a break.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
can be
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
working as a mansion or truck drivers which needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
resilience, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
eat or take a break when they finish the job.

Furthermore
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are gifted
by nature with the strong mental power which enable them to handle any sort of tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. This means they can
easily
combat almost any emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
of life by applying their rational approach and safeguard themselves from any psychological trauma.
For example
, when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
faces any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
in life such as losing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones or getting divorced, they
usually
cope up with the same with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
Use "(comparatively)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
comparatively
than women.

To conclude
, every person is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in terms of natural capabilities,
hence
, I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are
Some adjectives derived from Latin act as both adjective and comparative. In these cases use the collocation 'to'
superior than
women as they possess a high level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental strength.
Thus
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
handle almost every tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
capacity and by applying rational thinking.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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