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Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.2

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. v. 2
The issue of whether travellers should obey local customs and behaviors when they visit to other countries or not is certainly a controversial topic. Despite some people utterly disagree with that and claim the host country should be open-minded and accept culture differences. However, I personally believe that visitors should follow local policy and respect their culture. The following statements will illustrate my point of views. First of all, some people said that if one country would like to embrace different concepts from other nationalities, people will become more flexible and diverse, which can be easily get along with different kinds of people. Nevertheless, in my humble opinion, it means lose of their own culture's features. Take a real example, New York is an international city and millions of different countries' people live there, yet we even do not know how to describe New Yorker's behaviors or their customs. Their own customs are getting vanish due to the acceptance of culture difference. Based on this reason, it is quite inappropriate to accept all countries' culture difference. Second, following and respecting local policy would be a proper way out. Not only preserve the original of local people's behaviors, but also they share the different values to the visitors. Meanwhile, visitors should respect that some people in the world who are not having similar concepts like them and it would be perfect if they can balance their culture differences. For instance, like Australia, they embrace people from around the world to immigrate to their country while they still keep their original culture concept and their culture and local customs are not influenced by outsiders at all. In summary, I still believe that respecting local customs is necessary. No matter others dispute and think that host country should be open-minded, I strongly consider protecting local culture is overriding.
The issue of whether
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
should obey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and behaviors when they visit to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
or not is
certainly
a controversial topic. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
utterly
disagree with that and claim the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should be open-minded and accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
differences.
However
, I
personally
believe that visitors should follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
policy and respect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. The following statements will illustrate my point of views.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
said that if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would like to embrace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
concepts from other nationalities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become more flexible and diverse, which can be
easily
Consider using a past participle here: "got", "gotten".
get
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Nevertheless
, in my humble opinion, it means lose of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture's features. Take a real example, New York is an international city and millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there,
yet
we even do not know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
New Yorker's behaviors or their customs. Their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
customs are getting vanish due to the acceptance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
difference. Based on this reason, it is quite inappropriate to accept all countries'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
difference.

Second, following and respecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
policy would be a proper way out. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
preserve the original of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's behaviors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they share the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
values to the visitors. Meanwhile, visitors should respect that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world who are not having similar concepts like them and it would be perfect if they can balance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
differences.
For instance
, like Australia, they embrace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from around the world to immigrate to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
while they
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
concept and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs are not influenced by outsiders at all.

In summary, I
still
believe that respecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs is necessary. No matter others dispute and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should be open-minded, I
strongly
consider protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is overriding.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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