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Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. v. 1
The tourism industry has been concerned in many countries and these days lots of investments have been developed on this matter. But there are a lot of debates about some conflicts which come to existence when visitors enter in some societies. In fact, some encourage people to accept and welcome other cultures which have been brought to their countries by tourists and some others believe that tourists should behave as the frame of the host country rules and customs. This essay has tried to cover both of mentioned views and will suggest a solution for this sophisticated issue. The first groups who opine that people should respect tourists’ cultural believe that introducing new cultures to a society can be suitable. In the other words, people can learn new things from tourists and it can be helpful for increasing society awareness about the way of living in each corner of the world. In the other hand, these groups believe that people and governments should be flexible and admit other cultures if they want to be successful in the tourism industry and attract more tourists. Actually, lots of countries are competing with each other for being the destination of visitors in holidays and without respecting different cultures, they may be lost in this competition. By contrast, some others worry about their local customs and traditional cultures and they think that bringing new cultures and behaviours to one country by visitors can make a serious threaten for their cultures. Put another way, they believe that people may be interested in other countries cultures when tourists come to their countries and by this way, they forget their local customs. For example, a new style of wearing would be replaced by local clothes or new foods would be developed instead of traditional ones. Hence, they always want from tourists to behave as the host country allows. For instance, in some Islamic countries, governments prohibit drinking alcohol for tourists or ask women tourists to wear some specific dresses. I think, therefore, tourists always would like to learn and visit local customs when they go to new places, so, host countries can make a potential for tourists to be free and also encourage them to follow local rules and customs by introducing and showing their benefits. Undeniably visitors would be interested in behaving as similar as local people if the proper strategies would be considered.
The tourism industry has
been concerned
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and these days lots of investments have
been developed
on this matter.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
debates about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conflicts which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to existence when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
enter in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
societies. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to accept and welcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
which have
been brought
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
should behave as the frame of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and customs. This essay has tried to cover both of mentioned views and will suggest a solution for this sophisticated issue.

The
first
groups who opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists’
cultural
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
that introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
to a society can be suitable. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and it can be helpful for increasing society awareness about the way of living in each corner of the world. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, these groups
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should be flexible and admit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
if they want to be successful in the tourism industry and attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
. Actually, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are competing with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
for being the destination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
in holidays and without respecting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, they may
be lost
in this competition.

By contrast,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others worry about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and traditional
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cultures and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a serious threaten for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. Put another way, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
be interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and by this way, they forget their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
style of wearing would
be replaced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
clothes or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
foods would
be developed
instead
of traditional ones.
Hence
, they always want from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to behave as the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Islamic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
prohibit drinking alcohol for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
or ask women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to wear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific dresses.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'would' and 'like'.
always would like
to learn and visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs when they go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
places,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a potential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to be free and
also
encourage them to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and customs by introducing and showing their benefits.
Undeniably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
would
be interested
in behaving as similar as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if the proper strategies would
be considered
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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