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Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or kn v.8

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. 8
Nowadays, people are spending a huge amount of money on their entertainment. Youngsters as well as adults prefer spending their spare time, watching movies or sports and listening songs which result in the rise of the entertainment industry. Although, many may consider it a positive phenomena, I totally believe that one should be paid according to their work. In this essay, we will discuss both sides of the coin before any conclusion is drawn. Firstly, entertainment plays a very important role in our daily life. Youngsters are the most influenced one's from this sector, as they try to imitate and copy them. Entertainers are categorised as the highest earners in the society, for example, Sharukh Khan in movies, Sachin Tendulkar in sports and musicians like A. R Rehman and many more earn millions of single events only. On the other hand, players from other sports does not even get recognition in their own country. Also, not everyone in the entertainment industry gets the privilege of earning millions. Some of them work really hard to earn their livelihood. Secondly, entertainers earn much more than other highly educated professionals. Our society needs more of the doctors, engineers and other talented people. They spend their entire lives working hard and still far behind these superstars. For example, astronauts who risk their lives for the sake of the country are also underpaid. Those who bear large responsibilities such as doctors, who give hope to the people and contribute a lot to this society, should receive huge salaries. Furthermore, good incentives will encourage a lot of youngsters to work hard, instead of, wasting time and energy for entertainment. To conclude, entertainers are not offering anything different and their salaries are unjustifiable. Doctors and military officers are sacrificing their lives for the society, so payment of salaries to them should be equally distributed for the harmonious development of the economy.
Nowadays,
people
are spending a huge amount of money on their entertainment. Youngsters
as well
as adults prefer spending their spare time, watching movies or sports and listening songs which result in the rise of the entertainment industry. Although,
many may
consider it a
positive
phenomena
, I
totally
believe that one should
be paid
according to their work. In this essay, we will discuss both sides of the coin
before
any conclusion
is drawn
.

Firstly
, entertainment plays a
very
important
role in our daily life. Youngsters are the most influenced one's from this sector, as they try to imitate and copy them. Entertainers are
categorised
as the highest earners in the
society
,
for example
,
Sharukh
Khan in movies,
Sachin
Tendulkar
in sports and musicians like A. R
Rehman
and
many
more earn millions of single
events
only
. On the
other
hand, players from
other
sports does not even
get
recognition in their
own
country.
Also
, not everyone in the entertainment industry
gets
the privilege of earning millions.
Some
of them work
really
hard
to earn their livelihood.

Secondly
, entertainers earn much more than
other
highly
educated professionals. Our
society
needs more of the doctors, engineers and
other
talented
people
. They spend their entire
lives
working
hard
and
still
far behind these superstars.
For example
, astronauts who
risk
their
lives
for the sake of the country are
also
underpaid. Those who bear large responsibilities such as doctors, who give hope to the
people
and contribute a lot to this
society
, should receive huge salaries.
Furthermore
,
good
incentives will encourage
a lot of
youngsters to work
hard
,
instead
of, wasting time and energy for entertainment.

To conclude
, entertainers are not offering anything
different
and their salaries are unjustifiable. Doctors and military officers are sacrificing their
lives
for the
society
,
so
payment of salaries to them should be
equally
distributed for the harmonious development of the economy.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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