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Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? v.9

Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? v. 9
Nowadays, children have gotten more leisure time after school hours. How to utilize this free time is always a debate between groups of people. In this essay we will discuss how students utilize this duration effectively. To embark on, students should play games like cricket and chess in their non-study hours. This is because when they play such games this will help them develop their team building skills. For an instance, there is a research study published in the New York Times that kids who had started playing cricket or football early in their life they had no adjustment issues while working in their jobs. Furthermore, a game like chess increases their creative skills. This is due to fact that they use different ways to learn a new strategy to win the game. Secondly, newspaper reading is also necessary in free hours. This is because when student read the newspaper they will learn new words and which will enhance their vocabulary. This will also help them to use new words in day to day life. Nowadays, fluent English has been necessary for searching good and high paid jobs. In an e- poll conducted by economist magazine, more people voted for English being a major factor for high paid job. To conclude, school student should always update their skills like creative skills, team building skills and their English skills in their free time. This will not only help them in grooming themselves, but also help them in getting a high paying job which is the ultimate aim for most of the children.
Nowadays, children have gotten more leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
after school hours. How to utilize this free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is always a debate between groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In this essay we will discuss how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
utilize this duration
effectively
.

To embark on,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should play games like cricket and chess in their non-study hours. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when they play such games this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them develop their team building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. For an instance, there is a research study published in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
that kids who had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
playing cricket or football early in their life they had no adjustment issues while working in their jobs.
Furthermore
, a game like chess increases their creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. This is due to fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
strategy to win the game.

Secondly
, newspaper reading is
also
necessary in free hours. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
read the newspaper they will learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
words and which will enhance their vocabulary. This will
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
words in day to day life. Nowadays, fluent English has been necessary for searching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and high paid jobs. In an e- poll conducted by economist magazine, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
voted for English being a major factor for high paid job.

To conclude
, school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should always update their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, team building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and their English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in grooming themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in getting a high paying job which is the ultimate aim for most of the children.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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