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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is positive or negative development.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is positive or negative development.

essaydiscussionRural MigrationUrbanization Effects
Writing Structure
In the number of countries in the world, rural people abandon their home, moving to the city. Therefore, the city population expands, conversely to countryside where the number of local people decreases. I consider this issue as one of the, if not the most, primary objective that government should focus on. Firstly, there is no doubt - the physical jobs, are on the same level of importunes as the mental ones. Be it doctor, teacher, engineer or farmer, plumber, worker every profession contributes to society in its own way. Without workers, the buildings of the engineers would not be constructed, nor could programmer write his code without the technician. However, as we see, professions that involves physical work, tends to be overlooked, and somehow shamed. Partly because of the salary and career possibilities, and partly because of the health issues that the job tends to cause. Let's for example look at the statistics of construction workers. Most of them have to quit their job, at 50. There are more lethal incidents than in any other work. By leaving the countryside, they also leave their work. In the future there could be problem with finding manpower in the future. Secondly, the overpopulation that this trend can cause, will affect whole country. The never-ending traffic will produce the never-ending pollution problems. The small amount of job offers will be not enough for repeatedly growing population. As a result, homeless and jobless people will be everywhere. In conclusion, I fully agree with opinion that migration of rural population in to the urban places will have negative effects on different aspects of the country. Instead, the government should focus on upgrading the work and life conditions in countryside.
Introduction
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Thesis Statement

Body Paragraph 1
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Body Paragraph 2
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Conclusion
Restatement of Thesis

Recommendation

Overall Band Score: 5.5
Task Achievement
6
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear opinion. However, the arguments could be developed further with more supporting evidence and examples.
Lexical Resource
5
The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word forms.
Coherence & Cohesion
5.5
The essay presents a clear argument but lacks smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Some sentences are disjointed, making it difficult to follow the overall flow.
Grammatical Range
5
There are several grammatical errors, including incorrect punctuation and sentence structure. The use of complex sentences is limited.

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