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Research indicates that the characteristics we born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experience we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? Give reasons for your answer and include any v.2

Research indicates that the characteristics we born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experience we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? 2
The Many scientist hold the opinion that the characteristic which people get by birth is more useful for enhancing personality traits rather than to improve those attributes which we strive to improve in our entire life. My inclination supports the view of statement that influence of life experience is more significant to escalate the value of personality. Numerous studies have consistently found by different countries that those people who have god gifted characteristics are more productive in their work as compare to others that even actually build interest as well when it goes parallel. For instance, number of people have passion to be a supports man, actor and others but, owing to unavailability of opportunity or obstacles from families they have to move towards deliberately any other profession which is fully opposed by nature, which also becomes the cause of stress and anxiety. Furthermore, many intellectual people are concerned that personality is your personal reality which you demonstrate in front of the entire world whether its god gifted or fabricated. But, a character which is given by the god is more attractive than fabricated as said by many researchers. Moreover, it is fairly easy to comprehend that people who choose the destination against the nature which have definitely number of disadvantage as well as it can ruin the life to some extent. Many adepts assert that every individual have their own nature and habits and every people want to spend their life accordingly which means, nobody can forced people to spend life pertaining to others. It is just like as extract the soul from body that actually works as a robotic person. To sum up, in order to be enhanced better and quality of life people should do work on their desired area that will increases motivation and indulgence too. Hence, parents and seniors should encourage their children to work with born abilities that will be more worthwhile in practical life.
The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientist hold the opinion that the characteristic which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
by birth is more useful for enhancing personality traits
rather
than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
those attributes which we strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in our entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. My inclination supports the view of statement that influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experience is more significant to escalate the value of personality.

Numerous studies have
consistently
found by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have god gifted characteristics are more productive in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as compare to others that even actually build interest
as well
when it goes parallel.
For instance
, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have passion to be a supports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, actor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, owing to unavailability of opportunity or obstacles from families they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards
deliberately
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
profession which is
fully
opposed by nature, which
also
becomes the cause of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are concerned
that personality is your personal reality which you demonstrate in front of the entire world whether its god gifted or fabricated.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, a character which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the god is more attractive than fabricated as said by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researchers.

Moreover
, it is
fairly
easy to comprehend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who choose the destination against the nature which have definitely number of disadvantage
as well
as it can ruin the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
adepts assert that every individual have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nature and habits and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
accordingly
which means, nobody can forced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
pertaining to others. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like as extract the soul from body that actually works as a robotic person.

To sum up, in order to
be enhanced
better and quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on their desired area that will increases motivation and indulgence too.
Hence
, parents and seniors should encourage their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with born abilities that will be more worthwhile in practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Research indicates that the characteristics we born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experience we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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