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Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? You should write at least 250 words. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.6

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? v. 6
Nowadays, many studies imply that the experiences that we have been through in our lives have only an infinitesimal impact on our individual and development compared to the huge influence that stems from the hereditary characteristics that we are born with. In my opinion, I believe that lifetime experience plays a much greater role in our personality and improvement. On the one hand, hereditary characteristics could influence a person’s life only in terms of his/her health. In other words, we are all born with inherent trails came from our parents and ancestors. Genes which responsible in transmitting these characteristics from generation to generation, they do play a vital role in the child appearance along with his/her physical and mental health. For example, genetics disorders such as breast cancer are caused by the mutation of genes, and this genetic mutation can be passed from parents to a child at the time of conception. Therefore, the characteristics that we are born with affect our lives the most rather than our improvement and personality. On the other hand, the lifetime experience have a greater influence on the personality of individual. The person surrounding and the difficulty he/she witness in their life are more likely to change their personality enormously. For instance, I was a sociable as a child, however, this has changed when I grow up as I moved to live alone and that has made a more introvert person. That's why I believe that innate characteristics are vulnerable to change based on the person environmental surrounding. Moreover, the progress we achieve in our life depends on the person initiative, his/her own hard work, and dedication. As an illustration, being a child to two successful doctors does not enable the person to enhance readily or oblige him to be like them. In conclusion, lifetime experiences are more influential in our personality and enhancement in life more than the inherent trails which might have a major impact on the person health.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies imply that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
that we have been through in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an infinitesimal impact on our individual and development compared to the huge influence that stems from the hereditary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
that we
are born
with. In my opinion, I believe that lifetime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
plays a much greater role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
and improvement.

On the one hand, hereditary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
could influence a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in terms of his/her health.
In other words
, we are all born with inherent trails came from our parents and ancestors. Genes which responsible in transmitting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
from generation to generation, they do play a vital role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
appearance along with his/her physical and mental health.
For example
, genetics disorders such as breast cancer
are caused
by the mutation of genes, and this genetic mutation can
be passed
from parents to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
at the time of conception.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
that we
are born
with affect our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
the most
rather
than our improvement and personality.

On the other hand
, the lifetime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
have a greater influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
of individual. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
surrounding and the difficulty he/she witness in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
enormously
.
For instance
, I was a sociable as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
,
however
, this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
when I grow up as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone and that has made a more introvert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. That's why I believe that innate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
are vulnerable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
environmental surrounding.
Moreover
, the progress we achieve in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
initiative, his/her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, and dedication. As an illustration, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to two successful doctors does not enable the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to enhance
readily
or oblige him to be like them.

In conclusion
, lifetime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
are more influential in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
and enhancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more than the inherent trails which might have a major impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
health.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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Elif Safak

IELTS essay Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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