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Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any lifetime experiences. Which do you consider to be the major influence? v.13

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any lifetime experiences. Which do you consider to be the major influence? v. 13
Many studies show that personal's characters are more influenced by the distinctive features we have had since being born than experiences happening in life. In my opinion, lifetime experiences have a stronger influence on our personality due to two main factors, compared with genetic characteristics. The first and foremost reason is that from the newborn birthday, people always stay in a group, and certainly the surrounds background will affect them somehow. When we were young, we usually imitated everything that adults do, which is a natural process for children to grow. If one's father is easily angry and frequently hit others, he or she will do the same thing unconsciously. As a result, when they grow up, they may bully people around them as a habit. This means that personality has been affected by the surrounding elements. Another cause worth considering is that people need to change their individual characteristics to suit with the modern world. For example, one can be a shy kind of person, but if he wants to work in a large organisation, he should be open and sociable with everyone. This helps him to make himself more interesting and easier to work with. Besides, the fast development of technology requires people to become more flexible in renewing themselves. Unless he studies and updates, new information, he will be left behind. Therefore, they cannot insist on following their own strict personal's character. The lifetime experiences force us to change. In conclusion, the inborn characteristics have some influence on an individual’s nature and development. However, in my opinion, it is mainly the outlook and appearance that are acquired, and not the personality. The lifetime situations have a major influence on our ability to cope with our circumstances and succeed in life.
Many
studies
show
that personal's characters are more influenced by the distinctive features we have had since
being born
than experiences happening in life. In my opinion, lifetime experiences have a stronger influence on our personality due to two main factors, compared with genetic characteristics.

The
first
and foremost reason is that from the newborn birthday,
people
always stay in a group, and
certainly
the surrounds background will affect them somehow. When we were young, we
usually
imitated everything that adults do, which is a natural process for children to grow. If one's father is
easily
angry and
frequently
hit others, he or she will do the same thing
unconsciously
.
As a result
, when they grow up, they may bully
people
around them as a habit. This means that personality has been
affected
by the surrounding elements.

Another cause worth considering is that
people
need to
change
their individual characteristics to suit with the modern world.
For example
, one can be a shy kind of person,
but
if he wants to work in a large
organisation
, he should be open and sociable with everyone. This
helps
him to
make
himself more interesting and easier to work with.
Besides
, the
fast
development of technology requires
people
to become more flexible in renewing themselves. Unless he studies and updates, new information, he will be
left
behind.
Therefore
, they cannot insist on following their
own
strict personal's character. The lifetime experiences force us to
change
.

In conclusion
, the inborn characteristics have
some
influence on an individual’s nature and development.
However
, in my opinion, it is
mainly
the outlook and appearance that
are acquired
, and not the personality. The lifetime situations have a major influence on our ability to cope with our circumstances and succeed in life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any lifetime experiences. Which do you consider to be the major influence? v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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