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Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? v.12

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? v. 12
Human characters and evolution are indeed formed by various factors. While some argue that innate nature is the fundamental excuse, others insist on the element of life experiences. It seems to me that life events play a primary role in shaping one’s identity and improvement. In the first place, the lifetime occurrence has huge emotional impacts on a human's characteristic. Unquestionably, all good and bad times can affect the tendency of happiness or sadness towards the coming happenings. These valuable adventures act as life lessons to train attitudes and endurance. In particular, going through difficulties and challenges tend to form a strong and independent character. Moreover, living in love from families and friends can build an optimistic view of the world, regardless of ups and downs. What is more, the lesson of experience also takes a heavy toll on awareness and perception. It is said that surrounding yourself with a culturally-supportive community is likely to constitute a modern and healthy mindset. A forward-looking attitude and wide knowledge can be learned and developed from them. Meanwhile, individuals of the lower classes have distinctly fewer opportunities to approach educators or inspirers with positive and smart thoughts. Therefore, it is often advisable to make friends with well-educated people. Taking everything into consideration, life experience could determine humans’ identity and progress dramatically. According to that, people should bravely confront different situations and types of people as much as possible.
Human characters and evolution are
indeed
formed by various factors. While
some
argue that innate nature is the fundamental excuse, others insist on the element of
life
experiences. It seems to me that
life
events
play a primary role in shaping one’s identity and improvement.

In the
first
place, the lifetime occurrence has huge emotional impacts on a human's characteristic.
Unquestionably
, all
good
and
bad
times can affect the tendency of happiness or sadness towards the coming happenings. These valuable adventures act as
life
lessons to train attitudes and endurance.
In particular
, going through difficulties and challenges tend to form a strong and independent character.
Moreover
, living in
love
from families and friends can build an optimistic view of the world, regardless of ups and downs.

What is more
, the lesson of experience
also
takes a heavy toll on awareness and perception. It
is said
that surrounding yourself with a
culturally
-supportive community is likely to constitute a modern and healthy mindset. A forward-looking attitude and wide knowledge can
be learned
and developed from them. Meanwhile, individuals of the lower classes have
distinctly
fewer opportunities to approach educators or
inspirers
with
positive
and smart thoughts.
Therefore
, it is
often
advisable to
make
friends with well-educated
people
.

Taking everything into consideration,
life
experience could determine humans’ identity and progress
dramatically
. According to that,
people
should
bravely
confront
different
situations and types of
people
as much as possible.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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