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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v.9

In this present time people generally focuses to set up a new business rather than being employed under any employer in any firm. There are many individuals who usually prefers to work freely by setting up a business. For example- A person can start a business on his own as it will give him satisfaction to work whenever he feels like and even the income is on daily basis so an individual need not to wait for a whole month to receive his salary. Individuals can use his innovative ideas, plan and take decesion for his business. However there are people who still prefers to work under someone for guidance. For instance a candidate joins a firm to understand a work place, gain knowledge and experience so that he/she can always reach to a higher level and even there are various opportunities such as employees provident fund, health insurance policy, travelling tour packages etc allowances are also provided in an organisation. One can always be self- employed for his/ her wish but one may not get all the benefits which an employee might receive to work in any firm or company. The business may need some investment and even can occur loss in the initial stage of the business.
In this present time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
generally
focuses to set up a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
rather
than
being employed
under any employer in any firm. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals who
usually
prefers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
freely
by setting up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
For example
- A person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
as it will give him satisfaction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
whenever he feels like and even the income is on daily basis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
an individual need not to wait for a whole month to receive his salary. Individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
his innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, plan and take decesion for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
However
there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
still
prefers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under someone for guidance.
For instance
a candidate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joins
a firm to understand a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place, gain knowledge and experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he/she can always reach to a higher level and even there are various opportunities such as employees provident fund, health insurance policy, travelling tour packages etc allowances are
also
provided in an organisation. One can always be self- employed for his/ her wish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the benefits which an employee might receive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in any firm or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
may need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
investment and even can occur loss in the initial stage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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