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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v.28

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 28
An increasing number of people today are opting to start their own companies instead of working for a company mainly because of the increased support for young entrepreneurs. In my opinion, the main disadvantages of not having an employer are lack of expertise and its overall effect on businesses. The number of self-employed related to young entrepreneurs and has its origin in widespread angel investment across a variety of industries. One well-known example of this can be seen on the popular show ‘Shark Tank, ’ where a panel of investors and executives hear product pitches and compete to purchase stakes in budding entrepreneurs’ businesses. This show has launched a sum of successful products by securing initial funding, which has led to a trickle down effect from this show: not only has it turned specific dreams into realities, but it also encourages viewers in general to be more ambitious and has therefore been one of the main catalysts for the frenzy of self-run businesses popping up in recent years. Though there are undoubtedly positives to all these start-up companies, I think that the overall impact is negative because it results in many poorly run businesses. For example, in recent years an amount of ride-sharing apps, including Uber, Grab, Lyft, Be, Go-Viet and countless others have sprung up. The established companies provide a functioning app with high-quality service to meet the growing demands of this industry. However, the majority of small startups find themselves in over their heads with apps that barely function and driver shortages that specialise in inconveniencing customers. It would be better for the people starting these derivative businesses to either work in companies, gain valuable experience, look for gaps in the market, and then develop develop worthy competitors or simply be content to have a good job in a good company that they do not own. In conclusion, I feel that the rising number of new companies has led to a cult of overconfidence. If more people were satisfied working for others rather than pursuing unrealisable ambitions, this would likely lead to better consumer products across the board as well as increased national economic prosperity.
An increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are opting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
instead
of working for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increased support for young entrepreneurs. In my opinion, the main disadvantages of not having an employer are lack of expertise and its
overall
effect on businesses.

The number of self-employed related to young entrepreneurs and has its origin in widespread angel investment across a variety of industries. One well-known example of this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on the popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
‘Shark Tank,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
’
where a panel of investors and executives hear product pitches and compete to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
stakes in budding entrepreneurs’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
has launched a sum of successful products by securing initial funding, which has led to a trickle down effect from this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
: not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has it turned specific dreams into realities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
encourages viewers
in general
to be more ambitious and has
therefore
been one of the main catalysts for the frenzy of self-run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
popping up in recent years.

Though there are
undoubtedly
positives to all these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
overall
impact is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it results in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poorly
run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.
For example
, in recent years an amount of ride-sharing apps, including Uber, Grab, Lyft, Be,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Go-Viet
and countless others have sprung up. The established
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
provide a functioning app with high-quality service to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the growing demands of this industry.
However
, the majority of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
startups find themselves in over their heads with apps that
barely
function and driver shortages that
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialise' is British English.
specialise
in inconveniencing customers. It would be better for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
starting these derivative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to either work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, gain valuable experience, look for gaps in the market, and then
Possible typo: you repeated a word
develop develop
worthy competitors or
simply
be content to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
that they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

In conclusion
, I feel that the rising number of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
has led to a cult of overconfidence. If more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were satisfied
working for others
rather
than pursuing
Possible spelling mistake. 'unrealisable' is British English.
unrealisable
ambitions, this would likely lead to better consumer products across the board
as well
as increased national economic prosperity.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 28

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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