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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v.27

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 27
In the recent times, the job market evolved in several different ways. One of them is the spread of many self-employed workers, that have decided to give up with their normal jobs in companies or organisations to work by themselves. Firstly, this shift can be seen as a direct consequence of the new jobs available after the recent development of technologies and the global adoption of the internet. Nowadays the demand for the creation of websites or mobile applications has rocketed, opening a completely new market. Nevertheless, rely on big companies is often not affordable by the customers, and this brings the request of self-employed programmer to levels that have never seen before. In addition, choosing this kind of work bring several other advantages, such as having the freedom to choose the working hours and vacation days without requiring any authorisation, or not having a manager at all. On the other hand, being self-employed has also several important disadvantages. Firstly, if for some circumstances, such as illness or injury, the person is not able to work anymore for a period of time, he will not earn a salary, and depending on the duration of the situation, this can be really problematic. Secondly, even when the person is healthy and working, the salary will be really variable from time to time, depending on the current work, and so as to cope with plausible low-salary periods, it is important to have plenty of savings. Furthermore, the last problem to address is where to find the customers. Although there are specific websites that try to connect the need with the offer, it is not always easy to be chosen among hundreds of other self-employed professionals. In conclusion, although both work choices have their own implication, it cannot be denied that who chooses to be self-employed has way more freedom, but at the cost of a high risk of uncertantly in case of unforeseeable circumstances.
In the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, the job market evolved in several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. One of them is the spread of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
self-employed workers, that have decided to give up with their normal jobs in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by themselves.

Firstly
, this shift can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a direct consequence of the new jobs available after the recent development of technologies and the global adoption of the internet. Nowadays the demand for the creation of websites or mobile applications has rocketed, opening a completely new market.
Nevertheless
, rely on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
not affordable by the customers, and this brings the request of self-employed programmer to levels that have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In addition
, choosing this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
bring several other advantages, such as having the freedom to choose the working hours and vacation days without requiring any
Possible spelling mistake. 'authorisation' is British English.
authorisation
, or not having a manager at all.

On the other hand
, being self-employed has
also
several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
disadvantages.
Firstly
, if for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances, such as illness or injury, the person is not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
anymore for a period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, he will not earn a salary, and depending on the duration of the situation, this can be
really
problematic.
Secondly
, even when the person is healthy and working, the salary will be
really
variable from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, depending on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
cope with plausible low-salary periods, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of savings.
Furthermore
, the last problem to address is where to find the customers. Although there are specific websites that try to connect the need with the offer, it is not always easy to
be chosen
among hundreds of other self-employed professionals.

In conclusion
, although both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
choices have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
implication, it cannot
be denied
that who chooses to be self-employed has way more freedom,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the cost of a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncertantly
in case of unforeseeable circumstances.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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