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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadventages of being self-employed? v.17

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadventages of being self-employed? v. 17
In a modern world, people likely to quit their jobs and create their own business. This essay will examine reasons of people leave their works and the possible disadvantages of being self-employed. Firstly, the most important cause of individual's quitting their jobs is job dissatisfaction. In a time, myriads of people in worlwide got bored from their jobs and become unmotivatred to do their job requirements. For example, conflicts with the manager, cruel and competitive work environment are the effects that creates this situatipn. Moreover, the second reason of job dissatisfaction is hope. People tend to dream about having a high income from their own business and live in prosperity, in a consequence, put trust on themselves and step in to adventure. However, there might be serious disadvanteges for these brave people, which are hard to compete with huge companies and severe results in case of failure. It is obvious that wealthy firms such as holdings have much more extensive budget and experience compared to adventerous individuals. These holdings succeed to operate in low costs and increase their profit margins within decades. Furthermore, if business going somewhat unwell, the individuals might face with pressing consequences. For instance, an individual who is unable to pay the debts of his/her company might step on the court and sentence to prison or he/she be a homeless. To conclude, the leading reason of people give up their old-work is job dissatisfaction and the possible causes that contributes to growth of this problem are conflicts with the manager, harsh work environment, and hope. Then, the possible negative outcomes of this situation are hard to compete with high-budget companies and severe results.
In a modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
likely to quit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business. This essay will examine reasons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their works and the possible disadvantages of being self-employed.

Firstly
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
cause of individual's quitting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
dissatisfaction. In a time, myriads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
worlwide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
bored from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and become
Possible spelling mistake found.
unmotivatred
to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requirements.
For example
, conflicts with the manager, cruel and competitive work environment are the effects that creates this
Possible spelling mistake found.
situatipn
.
Moreover
, the second reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
dissatisfaction is hope.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to dream about having a high income from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in prosperity, in a consequence, put trust on themselves and step in to adventure.

However
, there might be serious
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadvanteges
for these brave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to compete with huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and severe results in case of failure. It is obvious that wealthy firms such as holdings have much more extensive budget and experience compared to
Possible spelling mistake found.
adventerous
individuals. These holdings succeed to operate in low costs and increase their profit margins within decades.
Furthermore
, if business going somewhat unwell, the individuals might face with pressing consequences.
For instance
, an individual who is unable to pay the debts of his/her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
might step on the court and sentence to
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
prison or
he/she be a homeless.

To conclude
, the leading reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give up their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-work is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
dissatisfaction and the possible causes that contributes to growth of this problem are conflicts with the manager, harsh work environment, and hope. Then, the possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes of this situation are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to compete with high-budget
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and severe results.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadventages of being self-employed? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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