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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v.1

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 1
The workforces of modern society now have more choices to earn living, including working at home as self-employees instead of forcing themselves to work in companies or organisations. This is a new trend and there must be many reasons as well as pros and cons of the decision. One fundamental base for the self-employed people is the development of technology, especially super effective and androit computers or laptops we have nowadays. Thanks to the internet and advanced computers, new types of job arose such as digital marketers, information technology ( IT) professors, designers, digital social entertainers like Youtubers or bloggers, and so on. These jobs don’t require people to come to an office or specific places to work. Instead, people can stay at home and produce „intellectual products” using their own computers and other supplemental devices. Other traditional positions could also become work-at-home jobs with the help of computers like consultants, copywriters, etc. From such kind of people’s perspective, working in a company or organisation might be quite complex, time-consuming due to travelling time; and they don’t want to be obliged with any strictly rules or nonsense interactions in a working place. Therefore, working at home is so far the better choice for them. However, such kind of jobs also have limitations. Fisrtly, without attending to a company or organisation, it would be harder for the workers to clarify and complete the documents related to their incomes, taxes, insurances and so on. That would be easier if they are in companies having proper executives. Secondly, working at home would decrease the chances of talking and interacting with other people of a person. This could lead to mental problems in the long term if he or she couldn’t handle his/her life well. And finally, self-employed jobs are often unstable and it would be a challenge for the workers to maintain their livings consistently from time to time. That’s opposite to fulltime workers of companies or organisations, whose life always be ensured with the monthly incomes and insurances. In summary, the decision of working at home or attending a company or organisation is depending on characteristics of jobs, abilities and also interactions of each person. There are advantages and disadvantages of each choice, but companies, organisations and governments should care more about this trend to adapt well and utilize the agile and modern source of workforce.
The
Possible spelling mistake found.
workforces
of modern society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have more choices to earn living, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home as self-employees
instead
of forcing themselves to work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
. This is a new trend and there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons
as well
as pros and cons of the decision.

One fundamental base for the self-employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
the development of technology,
especially
super effective and
Possible spelling mistake found.
androit
computers or laptops we have nowadays. Thanks to the internet and advanced computers, new types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
arose such as digital marketers, information technology
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
IT) professors, designers, digital social entertainers like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtubers
or bloggers, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
don’t require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to an office or specific places to work.
Instead
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can stay at home and produce
Possibly wrong smart opening quote: "“".
„
intellectual products” using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
computers and other supplemental devices. Other traditional positions could
also
become work-at-home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of computers like consultants, copywriters, etc. From such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
might be quite complex, time-consuming due to travelling time; and they don’t want to
be obliged
with any
strictly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
or nonsense interactions in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
place.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far the better choice for them.

However
, such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
also
have limitations.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fisrtly
, without attending to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, it would be harder for the workers to clarify and complete the documents related to their incomes, taxes, insurances and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. That would be easier if they are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
having proper executives.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home would decrease the chances of talking and interacting with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a person. This could lead to mental problems in the long term if he or she couldn’t handle his/her life well. And
finally
, self-employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
unstable and it would be a challenge for the workers to maintain their livings
consistently
from time to time. That’s opposite to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fulltime
workers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
, whose life always
be ensured
with the monthly incomes and insurances.

In summary, the decision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home or attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is depending
on characteristics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, abilities and
also
interactions of each person. There are advantages and disadvantages of each choice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should care more about this trend to adapt well and utilize the agile and modern source of workforce.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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