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In many countries schools have severe problems with students behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v.1

In many countries schools have severe problems with students behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1
Educating the children is a crucial element in the school, since, they have different characters for each individual. However, even it is referring to several issues, there could be related reasons and the way to solve it, which will be discussed in this essay before a rational conclusion. The causes could be affected by the subject and object around the students. First and foremost, it seems that habit in their daily routines as a main reason of why they behave differently. By means that the children have to deserve a good discipline from home and school too on how to create a proper habit, this would reflect their behaviour. Furthermore, from the school side, enforceable school rules and regulation of the teachers and its administrator. It seems that pupil deserves less controlling of character education in themselves would lead to be immature in behaving at school. For instance, when some students make a mistake, the teacher should punish them with a suitable punishment, yet it is not insisted properly by the teacher. Turning to possible solutions, giving more attention to the students for either academic or non-academic things could be effective to determine their behaviour problem. Firstly, maintaining the school regulations is essential to build a great discipline for themselves. The educators have to address any of the students who trespass the rules, for example, this would be helpful to form a good habit. Moreover, the school right has to emphasize the pupils for following instruction on behaving properly everywhere especially at school. Thereby, they would be familiar to become a mature person and try to obey the rules. By way of conclusion, though, the reasons are coming from student's bad habit and improper school regulations. The way to overcome its issues could be relevant including put much attention on building good habit as well as emphasizing them to be obedient student. As I would restate that to create good character on them, it must be using attractive manners step by step which could attract them to understand how important behaviour is.
Educating the children is a crucial element in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, since, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
characters for each individual.
However
, even it is referring to several issues, there could
be related
reasons and the way to solve it, which will
be discussed
in this essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a rational conclusion.

The causes could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the subject and object around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
First
and foremost, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
in their daily routines as a main reason of why they behave
differently
. By means that the children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deserve a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
discipline from home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
too on how to create a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
, this would reflect their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Furthermore
, from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
side, enforceable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation of the teachers and its administrator. It seems that pupil deserves less controlling of character education in themselves would lead to be immature in behaving at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For instance
, when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a mistake, the teacher should punish them with a suitable punishment,
yet
it is not insisted
properly
by the teacher.

Turning to possible solutions, giving more attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for either academic or non-academic things could be effective to determine their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
problem.
Firstly
, maintaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
regulations is essential to build a great discipline for themselves. The educators
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
address any of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who trespass the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
,
for example
, this would be helpful to form a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
right
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
emphasize the pupils for following instruction on behaving
properly
everywhere
especially
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Thereby, they would be familiar to become a mature person and try to obey the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

By way of conclusion, though, the reasons are coming from student's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
and improper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
regulations. The way to overcome its issues could be relevant including put much attention on building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
as well
as emphasizing them to be obedient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. As I would restate that to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
character on them, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be using attractive
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "manners'" or "manner's"?
manners
step by step which could attract them to understand how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries schools have severe problems with students behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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