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In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v.5

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 5
Institutions in many nations have grave problems with the way their students behave. I believe it could be as a result of the undergraduates not being serious with their studies. However, the enforcement of strict rules by the school authority on class attendance and project research can curb this menace. Schools in a large number of countries have severe issues with their students' behaviour because of lack of seriousness in their studies. In other words, they do not take their school work seriously. Moreover, they indulge in partying and socialising rather than studying to earn good grades. For example, a recent study carried out at the University of Lagos, Nigeria, revealed that about 70% of the total number of students, who passed out in 2005, graduated with a third class honours. As a result, the institution as well as the nation is in crisis, which ought not to be. However, institutions should enforce strict rules in class attendance and project research in order that, the students be engaged with more assignments. If put in place, they will not have time to pursue other activities. Covenant University in Ota, Ogun State, Nigeria, for example, started offering the undergraduate case studies to write and present every semester. This has helped to greatly reduce the extra curricular activities by the students. Therefore, engaging these students is an effective way to curb the various issues encountered by the schools. In conclusion, I think that enforcing stiff rules on classwork and research is an excellent way of preventing grave issues that schools face in different nations because the students are not serious with their studies. Given this situation, the government should put infrastructures in schools to encourage undergraduate study.
Institutions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations have grave problems with the way their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
behave. I believe it could be
as a result
of the undergraduates not being serious with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
However
, the enforcement of strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
authority on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
attendance and project research can curb this menace.

Schools in
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
countries have severe issues with their students'
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of seriousness in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
In other words
, they do not take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
work
seriously
.
Moreover
, they indulge in partying and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
rather
than studying to earn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades.
For example
, a recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
carried out at the University of Lagos, Nigeria, revealed that about 70% of the total number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who passed out in 2005, graduated with a third
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
Possible spelling mistake. 'honours' is British English.
honours
.
As a result
, the institution
as well
as the nation is in crisis, which ought not to be.

However
, institutions should enforce strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
attendance and project research in order that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
be engaged
with more assignments. If put in place, they will not have time to pursue other activities. Covenant University in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ota
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ogun
State, Nigeria,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
offering the undergraduate case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
to write and present every semester. This has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
activities by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Therefore
, engaging these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is an effective way to curb the various issues encountered by the schools.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that enforcing stiff
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
on classwork and research is an excellent way of preventing grave issues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
face in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not serious with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should put infrastructures in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to encourage undergraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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