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In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v.2

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 2
Students' behavioural issues are becoming problematic in recent years. This phenomenon is said to be worldwide, and it is possibly caused by the lack of parental support and decreased teacher's authority. This essay will discuss the causes of this issue and provide some suggestions to solve this issue. The level of parental support for children relating to school and social activities and teachers' authority in classrooms may relate to students' behaviour. It is common for both parents working full-time, however, it means that less time is spent with their children. It is critical for school-age children who require some extent of guidance from their parents in regards to school and social activities. In addition, it is said that teachers used to have more power in the classroom, therefore students were behaving well and listening to adults with respect in the past. Thus, the lack of parental engagement with their children and the loss of discipline in the classroom are considered to be major causes of children's negative behaviour. Some solutions should be sought so that children will become responsible and well-mannered adults. First of all, parents should be responsible for their children in teaching basic manners and how to respect others. Provided that, some parents might need some assistance. In this regard, local schools can cooperate with parents and give supervision to children together. Moreover, educational sessions which cover topics such as how to deal with children with behaviours, or how to teach children respect may be beneficial for those parents who are not confident in educating their children. If schools and parents engage with children in a cooperative manner, children's attitude would improve. In conclusion, the lack of parental engagement and the decreased level of teachers' authority in the classroom probably contribute to students' behaviour in a negative way. Parents should take responsibilities in teaching their children how to behave, with some assistance from classroom teachers and educational information provided by local communities.
Students'
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
issues are becoming problematic in recent years. This phenomenon
is said
to be worldwide, and it is
possibly
caused by the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
support and decreased teacher's authority. This essay will discuss the causes of this issue and provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions to solve this issue.

The level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
support for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
relating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and social activities and teachers' authority in classrooms may relate to students'
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. It is common for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
working full-time,
however
, it means that less time
is spent
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is critical for school-age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent of guidance from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and social activities.
In addition
, it
is said
that teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have more power in the classroom,
therefore
students were behaving well and listening to adults with respect in the past.
Thus
, the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
engagement with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the loss of discipline in the classroom
are considered
to be major causes of children's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
solutions should
be sought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will become responsible and well-mannered adults.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be responsible for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in teaching basic manners and how to respect others. Provided that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
assistance. In this regard, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can cooperate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and give supervision to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
together.
Moreover
, educational sessions which cover topics such as how to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, or how to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
respect may be beneficial for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who are not confident in educating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
engage with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Consider replacing "in a cooperative manner" with the adverb for "cooperative"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a cooperative manner
, children's attitude would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.

In conclusion
, the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
engagement and the decreased level of teachers' authority in the classroom
probably
contribute to students'
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should take responsibilities in teaching their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to behave, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
assistance from classroom teachers and educational information provided by local communities.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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