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In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior. <br> What do you think are the causes of this? <br> What solutions can you suggest? v.8

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior. <br> What do you think are the causes of this? <br> What solutions can you suggest? v. 8
In some countries, education institutions are facing problems with the student's attitude and behavior. The following essay will discuss about some of the reasons that have caused the situation, and some of the steps that can be taken to address the issue. It is a fact that a lot of schools have severe problems with their students' personality and attitude. Many of the children have become overreacted or showing negative behavior during the class hours. Some education experts believe that the negative attitude of the children is mainly due to the lack of attention of the parents. It is a common thing that both parents are working these days, and they would only have such a limited time for their children. As a result, some of the children have acted negatively at home and school to get the attention of their parents, teachers or friends. Furthermore, it is undeniable that video games have affected the mindset of the children nowadays. A lot of children are behaving aggressively due to the games that they often play, which shows a lot of violence and sadistic scenes. Consequently, several children think that fighting or teasing their friends is a normal activity. There are several things that people can do to resolve the problems. Firstly, the school should have a periodical coordination or a routine meeting with parents to discuss about their children attitude. The school should always remind parents about spending some quality and giving more attention to the children. Secondly, teacher should also recommend parents to monitor the children's activities, especially in the types of digital games they played or the types of movies they watched. Since, many video games or films are showing inappropriate acts or scenes which might distract the children's mind. In conclusion, it is true that the negative behavior of some students become one of the main problems of many schools nowadays. Many people believe that it is due the lack attention of the working parents these days, and the impact of video games. Therefore it is important for the school and parents to cooperate in guiding the children.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, education institutions are facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with the student's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
and behavior. The following essay will discuss about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the reasons that have caused the situation, and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
steps that can
be taken
to address the issue.

It is a fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with their students' personality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have become overreacted or showing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
behavior during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
hours.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
education experts believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
mainly
due to the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. It is a common thing that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working these days, and they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have such a limited time for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
As a result
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have acted
negatively
at home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, teachers or friends.
Furthermore
, it is undeniable that video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the mindset of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are behaving
aggressively
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
play, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
violence and sadistic scenes.
Consequently
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that fighting or teasing their friends is a normal activity.

There are several things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can do to resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should have a periodical coordination or a routine meeting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
Did you mean simply "discuss their"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should always remind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality and giving more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Secondly
, teacher should
also
recommend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to monitor the children's activities,
especially
in the types of digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
they played or the types of movies they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
. Since,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or films are showing inappropriate acts or scenes which might distract the children's mind.

In conclusion
, it is true that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
behavior of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students become one of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is due the lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
of the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
these days, and the impact of video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to cooperate in guiding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior. <br> What do you think are the causes of this? <br> What solutions can you suggest? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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