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In many countries’ schools have server problems with student behaviors. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest. v.2

In many countries’ schools have server problems with student behaviors. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest. v. 2
It is common knowledge that student behavior problem plays key role in today’s world. The question, however, arises what can be done to reduce the problem of student problem behaviors. This essay will discuss the causes of the student problem behavior and will also attempt to provide some practical solutions. First and foremost, it is often claimed that the problem student behaviors will never be solved. For example, one of the obvious factors why the problem is impossible to deal with is because the background of the problems is always different. Most of the students are in young age and many factors have deep impact on his mind. We can point few of them such as home environment, friends and TV programs. Those things can encourage students to some particular behaviors. In fact, the way that parents interact with each other, directly defines moral and ethics rules for students. For example, a student learns from parents how to behave in a society. Also, TV programs have strong influence on student’ character and in most cases students’ mimics outfit and behaviors from some popular actors. Besides, schools are always the first place which face the problems and try to solve those bad behaviors which have come to existence in students. Luckily, there are also some practical solutions that can be applied to reduce the problem of student’s bad behaviors. For instance, parents should spend more time with their kids, they must know their kids needs and give them proper behavior patterns as well as correct moral and ethics rules. Moreover, school have enormous impact of student behavior due to the time how much kids spend it there. Teachers and school psychologists should be in good contact with parents of students which expose bad behaviors. So that could help find the cause of the problems and might help to deal with them in the future. From the arguments I have presented above it can be seen that even though the problem of the students problem behavior may seem to be a very complex issue it can be solved but definitely require more outside of the box thinking.
It is common knowledge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
plays key role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world. The question,
however
, arises what can
be done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
. This essay will discuss the causes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
and will
also
attempt to provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical solutions.

First
and foremost, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claimed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
will never
be solved
.
For example
, one of the obvious factors why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is impossible to deal with is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the background of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are in young age and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors have deep impact on his mind. We can point few of them such as home environment, friends and TV programs. Those things can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
. In fact, the way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
interact with each other,
directly
defines moral and ethics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
learns from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
how to behave in a society.
Also
, TV programs have strong influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’
character and
in most cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
mimics outfit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
popular actors.
Besides
, schools are always the
first
place which face the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and try to solve those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
which have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to existence in students.

Luckily, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical solutions that can
be applied
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should spend more time with their kids, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know their kids needs and give them proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
patterns
as well
as correct moral and ethics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Moreover
, school have enormous impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
due to the time how
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
kids spend it there. Teachers and school psychologists should be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which expose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
find the cause of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to deal with them in the future.

From the arguments I have presented above it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "students'" or "student's"?
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
may seem to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complex issue it can
be solved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
definitely require more
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the box thinking.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries’ schools have server problems with student behaviors. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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