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22. 09. 2017 Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? v.1

22. 09. 2017 Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? v. 1
Some pundits aver that inherited traits play more significant role in forming personality than experiences obtained in a life time. Below the prospect will be discussed in details and author’s opinion will be stated. On the one hand, characteristics with which people born have a considerable influence on personal development. Primarily, physical characteristics such as gender, race and body type have a crucial impact. A tall, pretty, European woman would apparently have distinctive personality than an unattractive and chubby one; even if they both were born and educated in the same culture. Moreover, some personal traits such as the ability to absorb and recall information or to keep being focused on a task for a long period of time seem to be inherited. A group of psychologists that studied intelligence decisively demonstrated the correlation between parents’ IQ and their offspring’s one. That means the more clever and smart mother and father are, the more intelligent their progeny will be. In other words, inheritance indeed has a grave effect on personal growth. On the other hand, experiences that are undergone by individuals must not be neglected. In fact, circumstances in which a child was brought up are pivotal for forming personality. Perhaps, the best illustration may be the sociological research that was conducted among couples of identical twins. The siblings in each couple were adopted by different families and although the siblings in each couple have the same genes, the kids that were fostered by wealthy, well-educated upper-class citizens were more successful, confident and smart than those who were taken by poor, ill-educated parents. Additionally, perception of physical features, for instance, body constitution differs from country to country and the same features often have different impact on modeling identity. Thus, culture in which a person is brought up and social experiences that a person comes to know forge one’s individuality. In my opinion, although characteristics succeeded from parents are important for development of a human being, the role life experiences outweigh them. From my point of view, passed-down traits could be seen as the foundation on which a personality is built via having a wide variety of experiences.
Some
pundits aver that inherited traits play more significant role in forming
personality
than
experiences
obtained in a
life time
. Below the prospect will
be discussed
in
details
and author’s opinion will
be stated
.

On the one hand, characteristics with which
people
born have a considerable influence on personal development.
Primarily
, physical characteristics such as gender, race and body type have a crucial impact. A tall, pretty, European woman would
apparently
have distinctive
personality
than an unattractive and chubby one; even if they both
were born
and educated in the same culture.
Moreover
,
some
personal traits such as the ability to absorb and recall information or to
keep
being focused
on a task for a long period of time seem to
be inherited
. A group of psychologists that studied intelligence
decisively
demonstrated the correlation between parents’ IQ and their offspring’s one. That means the more clever and smart mother and father are, the more intelligent their progeny will be.
In other words
, inheritance
indeed
has a grave effect on personal growth.

On the other hand
,
experiences
that are undergone by individuals
must
not
be neglected
. In fact, circumstances in which a child
was brought
up are pivotal for forming
personality
. Perhaps, the best illustration may be the sociological research that
was conducted
among couples of identical twins. The siblings in each couple
were adopted
by
different
families and although the siblings in each couple have the same genes, the kids that
were fostered
by wealthy, well-educated upper-
class
citizens were more successful, confident and smart than those who
were taken
by poor, ill-educated parents.
Additionally
, perception of physical features,
for instance
, body constitution differs from country to country and the same features
often
have
different
impact on modeling identity.
Thus
, culture in which a person
is brought
up and social
experiences
that a person
comes
to know forge one’s individuality.

In my opinion, although characteristics succeeded from parents are
important
for development of a human being, the role life
experiences
outweigh them. From my point of view, passed-down traits could be
seen
as the foundation on which a
personality
is built
via having a wide variety of
experiences
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay 22. 09. 2017 Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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