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Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. with this statement?

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. with this statement?

essayopinionConservationEthics
Writing Structure
Many individuals are of the opinion that allocating precious resources to preserve endangered creatures, such as the tiger or the blue whale, is wasteful. Personally, I strongly disagree with this school of thought for several reason that will be discussed in this essay. There are several reasons why we should invest money in protecting endangered animals. Initially, many species today are at risk of extinction due to significant factors such as environmental pollution, resulting in these problems. By protecting these animals from being extinct, it can enhance our survival, as our lives would deteriorate if these creatures were lost forever. Furthermore, if we are responsible for caring for vulnerable species, our moral duty will significantly increase, as we are the most powerful creature on Earth. As a result, this would make better versions of ourselves by taking care of other creatures. Additionally, protecting endangered animals can be financially beneficial. Many argue that defending these animals in conservation areas can generate revenue. This is because tourists often pay sinificant fees to visit natural parks and observe these rare animals in their natural habitats. This not only creates jobs for local communities but also provides funds that can be used to conserve these animals. For example, in Hanoi, the conservation of white tigers has led to a thriving eco-tourism industry, leading the city to a higher standard of living. In conclusion, I believe that people should spend money on preserving animals at risk of extinction because the existence of these animals is crucial to our lives. This not only improves our behaviour but also enhances our reputation and can lead to financial benefits.
Introduction
Background Information

Thesis Statement

Body Paragraph 1
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Body Paragraph 2
Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Supporting Sentence

Example Sentence

Conclusion
Restatement of Thesis

Final Thought

Overall Band Score: 6.5
Task Achievement
6.5
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear opinion, but some arguments could be developed further. The conclusion summarizes the main points but lacks a strong final thought.
Lexical Resource
6
The vocabulary used is appropriate but lacks variety and sophistication. There are instances of repetition and some inaccuracies in word choice.
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5
The essay presents a clear argument with a logical structure, but some ideas could be better connected. The flow between sentences and paragraphs is generally good, but there are moments where transitions could be improved.
Grammatical Range
6
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are errors in sentence construction and punctuation that affect clarity.

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