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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

academicProcessProcessSugar ProductionSugar CaneManufacturing Process
Writing Structure
Production process of sugar from sugar cane is depicted in the diagram. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Overall, a number of equipments are used for making sugar. First of all, sugar cane is planted. Its growing takes 12-18 months. Then they are harvested by the help of manpower and machine. After harvesting, sugar canes are crushed in the special tool for being juice. Next, the juice is purified by the limestone filter. Process continues with heating of the juice in the evaporator for making it syrup. Following this, centrifuge separates sugar crystals from syrup. Lastly, sugar crystals are dried and cooled. At the end of the process sugar is ready for consumption.
Introduction
Simple Sentence

Overview
Simple Sentence

Body Paragraph 1
Simple Sentence

Simple Sentence

Compound Sentence

Body Paragraph 2
Complex Sentence

Simple Sentence

Complex Sentence

Complex Sentence

Simple Sentence

Simple Sentence

Overall Band Score: 6.5
Task Achievement
6.5
The response addresses the task and describes the process accurately. Certain aspects could be developed further for clarity and insight.
Lexical Resource
6.5
The vocabulary is adequate, although repetitive at times. Some errors in word choice but enough variety to convey meaning through task-related lexis.
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5
There is a logical sequence of ideas, and each step in the process is described in order, but the cohesion between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking devices.
Grammatical Range
6
Simple and complex sentences present but with occasional errors in sentence structures. Grammatical range is somewhat limited.

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