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The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers v.1

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers v. 1
The sale and consumption of drugs are illegal in almost all countries. Despite this, drugs are readily available from illegal dealers. They can even be bought online. Since illegal drugs have become quite a big problem, some people suggest that all forms of drugs should be legalised. I fully disagree with this view. Legalising all forms of drugs will only complicate the situation. If people can walk into a nearby store and buy cocaine or marijuana, there will be a dramatic increase in the number of pharmaceutical addicts all over the world. Drug abuse will be particularly rampant among young people. Obviously, any attempt to legalise all drugs will be the recipe for disaster. Of course, there are certain drugs with healing properties. For example, doctors sometimes prescribe marijuana to treat some health problems. Because of this reason, it is legal in some countries. Perhaps other countries too can legalise drugs with medical properties; however, before doing so, they need to enact appropriate laws that will prevent the abuse of legalised drugs. Consumption of drugs leads to several health problems. That is the reason drugs are banned in most countries. Many people who consume drugs are actually unaware of the harmful consequences. They get into substance abuse when they are still in their teens and at this age they are too young to understand that drugs will ultimately destroy their life. For this reason, it is imperative that the government should launch massive campaigns to create awareness about the harmful side effects of drugs. These campaigns should primarily target teens and youngsters. The government must also enact laws that give stringent punishment to remedy dealers. In conclusion, illegal drugs have become a major problem all over the world; however, legalizing them is not the solution. Instead, the government should come down hard on medicine dealers. It must also create awareness about the harmful effects of cure addiction
The sale and consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
in almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Despite this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are
readily
available from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
dealers. They can even be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
online. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
have become quite a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that all forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'legalised' is British English.
legalised
. I
fully
disagree with this view.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Legalising' is British English.
Legalising
all forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
complicate the situation. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can walk into a nearby store and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
cocaine or marijuana, there will be a dramatic increase in the number of pharmaceutical addicts all over the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drug
abuse will be
particularly
rampant among young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Obviously
, any attempt to
Possible spelling mistake. 'legalise' is British English.
legalise
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
will be the recipe for disaster.

Of course
, there are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
with healing properties.
For example
, doctors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
prescribe marijuana to treat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Because of this
reason, it is legal in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Perhaps other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
too can
Possible spelling mistake. 'legalise' is British English.
legalise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
with medical properties;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they need to enact appropriate laws that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the abuse of
Possible spelling mistake. 'legalised' is British English.
legalised
drugs.

Consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
leads to several health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
That is
the reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are banned
in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are actually unaware of the harmful consequences. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into substance abuse when they are
still
in their teens and at this age they are too young to understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
will
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their life.
For this reason
, it is imperative that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should launch massive campaigns to create awareness about the harmful side effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. These campaigns should
primarily
target teens and youngsters. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
enact laws that give stringent punishment to remedy dealers.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
have become a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
all over the world;
however
,
Do not mix variants of the same word ('legalize' and 'legalise') within a single text.
legalizing
them is not the solution.
Instead
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
down
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
on medicine dealers. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
create awareness about the harmful effects of cure
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
addiction
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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