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Some people say that the main environmental problem of out time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that the main environmental problem of out time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 1
People are arguing that whether the loss of species of plants and animals is the main environmental problem in today’s world, or there are some other emerging problems which are more fatal. In my opinion, although the loss of endangered species is worth concerning, we should be more worried about other earth problems such as the global warming process. On the one hand, there are two reasons why we should be concerned about losing some species. Firstly, if some of the agricultural plants are extinct from the earth, it will be hard to feed the ever-growing population. This means people lose their food resources and this may lead to disasters like the starving of children. Actually, this is happening on tropical fruits like bananas which feed up to millions of mouths in Indonesia or the Philippines. In addition, pests may overwhelm every dirty place in cities and rural areas. For example, if there are no pest-eating birds anymore, cockroaches can grow bigger than mice and creep wherever they want. On the other hand, I would argue that global warming is a more serious environmental problem because it can make lot of people nowhere to live and cause more deadly forest fires. With regard to the living problem, a higher temperature on earth means that there will be less glaciers. This can cause the increase of sea level and force people living by water such as Japanese and British to move to otherwhere. Concerning the fire problem, 2-3 centigrade higher than normal can make flames easier to thrive in the forests. For example, a piece of plastic can light up several hectares of bush which seems unlikely to happen if the temperature is not that high. In conclusion, although the loss of species is a concerning problem, I believe that other problems like global warming are more important.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are arguing that whether the loss of species of plants and animals is the main environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, or there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
emerging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which are more fatal. In my opinion, although the loss of endangered species is worth concerning, we should be more worried about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
earth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as the global warming process.

On the one hand, there are two reasons why we should
be concerned
about losing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species.
Firstly
, if
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
agricultural plants are extinct from the earth, it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to feed the ever-growing population. This means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their food resources and this may lead to disasters like the starving of children. Actually, this is happening on tropical fruits like bananas which feed up to millions of mouths in Indonesia or the Philippines.
In addition
, pests may overwhelm every dirty place in cities and rural areas.
For example
, if there are no pest-eating birds anymore, cockroaches can grow bigger than mice and creep wherever they want.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I would argue that global warming is a more serious environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowhere to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and cause more deadly forest fires. With regard to the living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, a higher temperature on earth means that there will be
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun glaciers is countable.
less
glaciers. This can cause the increase of sea level and force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living by water such as Japanese and British to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
Did you mean "too"?
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
otherwhere
. Concerning the fire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, 2-3 centigrade higher than normal can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
flames easier to thrive in the forests.
For example
, a piece of plastic can light up several hectares of bush which seems unlikely to happen if the temperature is not that high.

In conclusion
, although the loss of species is a concerning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like global warming are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of out time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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