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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.9

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 9
With increasing concerns about the environment, people want to know what is the key issue related to the environment. A part of people think that the disappearance of special kinds of trees and animals is the key trouble while other parts of them believe that some other serious phenomenon are existing. In my knowledge, I agree that losing plants and animals are extremely dangerous to the earth. However, we should solve other problems such as air pollution and climate change. Admittedly, more and more species are extinct from the world. For example, the recent forest fire in Australia has destroyed a huge area of the land where millions of animals and trees have been habituated there. Although their extinction won’t cause a direct influence on humanity’s survival, it actually leads to the change of the whole ecosystem. Such a change will contribute to more serious problems of earth like global warming. In addition, the decreasing number of species means the survival risk is increasing because biological diversity is a key complex system. However, climate change and air pollution are more serious in human’s life. For instance, the population of climate refugees is a big problem for many countries whilst a vast majority of diseases have been proved to have a relationship with air pollution. Obviously, climate change and air pollution are threatening us so that we have to solve them first. Base on the discussion, plants and animals should be environment questions because it shows that threaten is closed to us. But climate change and air pollution are becoming the most serious issue for our survival. Thus, I think that other problems are more important than losing some special species.
With increasing concerns about the environment,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to know what is the key issue related to the environment. A part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the disappearance of special kinds of trees and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is the key trouble while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of them believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
phenomenon are existing. In my knowledge, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that losing plants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to the earth.
However
, we should solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Admittedly
, more and more species are extinct from the world.
For example
, the recent forest fire in Australia has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
a huge area of the land where millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and trees have
been habituated
there. Although their extinction won’t cause a direct influence on humanity’s survival, it actually leads to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
of the whole ecosystem. Such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
will contribute to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of earth like global warming.
In addition
, the decreasing number of species means the survival
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
is increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
biological diversity is a key complex system.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
in human’s life.
For instance
, the population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
refugees is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries whilst a vast majority of diseases have
been proved
to have a relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
are threatening us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
solve them
first
.

Base on the discussion, plants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be environment questions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that threaten
is closed
to us.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
are becoming the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
issue for our survival.
Thus
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than losing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special species.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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