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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.51

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 51
Nowadays, the public concern about environmental impacts increases dramatically. Some people say that the main environmental issue is the disappearance of particular species of plants and animals. While others indicate that there are more significant environmental problems. In the scope of this essay, the two views will be discussed in details and I personally agree with the second opinion. There are reasons why many kinds of plants and animals are in danger. First of all, deforestation has increased at an alarming speed. Millions of trees have cut down so that there will be more space for agriculture. Therefore, a large number of valuable species of plants disappeared. Furthermore, fishing too much reduces a considerable amount of sea creatures. For example, blue whales have hunted brutally in the past decades. Researchers estimated that there were few thousands of them left on earth. Nonetheless, there are more environmental problems we are facing. Foremost, climate change threatens every nation. For example, the weather is difficult to forecast now. Droughts and floods happen regularly and they have a strong impact on agriculture. In addition, icebergs are melting quickly in Artics. As the result, sea level is rising and affecting a large number of the costal cities around the world. It is said that there are many cities will be under water in the next century. In conclusion, I personally believe that there are more significant environmental issues than the loss of particular plants and animals. Specifically, we are successful in protecting several plants and animals which are in danger by setting up conservation centre in various parts of the world. However, deforestation and rising level of the sea are more vital.
Nowadays, the public concern about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
impacts increases
dramatically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issue is the disappearance of particular species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others indicate that there are more significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems. In the scope of this essay, the two views will
be discussed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second opinion.

There are reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, deforestation has increased at an alarming speed. Millions of trees have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there will be more space for agriculture.
Therefore
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
valuable species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
disappeared.
Furthermore
, fishing too much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
a considerable amount of sea creatures.
For example
, blue whales have hunted
brutally
in the past decades. Researchers estimated that there were few thousands of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
on earth.

Nonetheless, there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems we are facing. Foremost, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
threatens every nation.
For example
, the weather is difficult to forecast
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Droughts and floods happen
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
regularly and
they have a strong impact on agriculture.
In addition
, icebergs are melting
quickly
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Artics
. As the result, sea level is rising and affecting
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
costal
cities around the world. It
is said
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities will be under water in the
next
century.

In conclusion
, I
personally
believe that there are more significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues than the loss of particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Specifically
, we are successful in protecting several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
by setting up conservation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
in various parts of the world.
However
, deforestation and rising level of the sea are more vital.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 51

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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