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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.48

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 48
The growing innumerable of issues regarding the context has certainly created a mooted issue. However, some intellectuals perceive that predominate impact on the aboriginal plants and mammal survival while; others opine that further attributes such as deforestation, air pollution are playing a crucial role to generate a detrimental effect on the atmosphere. The essay will discuss both the above notion with my opinion in bellow paragraph. To begin with, in the former view concerns about the unbalance of the ecosystem. This will create a dispute for the animal who are living in the forest as no such places are excited in the recent world due to the deforestation. However, there would be no place left for their living. Moreover, during this process, they also must have to suffer from the food which they found from the forest easily. For example, in the 21st century, research conducted shows that in India only a few numbers of Lion and tiger left as having a lesser forest area where they can find their food and shelter to live there. On the other hand, in the later view some think that others factor is a major contributor for the imbalance of the environment. The first attribute is that the impact of the deforestation raises the temperature. Not only the pollution generated by the vehicles, but also the other electronic gadgets also inculcate plethora of the carbon dioxide in the air. This would be resulted in the greenhouse effect because of raise pollution and temperature. For instance, this effect has been measured by the analysing the sea level and the amount of rain in that a particular area would be reduced compared to the past. In conclusion, as per my opinion, both views play an imperative role to make the surroundings hazardous. In the former view, needed to manage the food chain and ecosystem as well as in later view which gives exploited the habitat in which that species is living. The government and an individual have to take prevention steps to solve this.
The growing innumerable of issues regarding the context has
certainly
created a mooted issue.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
intellectuals perceive that predominate impact on the aboriginal plants and mammal survival while; others opine that
further
attributes such as deforestation, air pollution are playing a crucial role to generate a detrimental effect on the atmosphere. The essay will discuss both the above notion with my opinion in bellow paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in the former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
concerns about the unbalance of the ecosystem. This will create a dispute for the animal who are living in the forest as no such places
are excited
in the recent world due to the deforestation.
However
, there would be no place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for their living.
Moreover
, during this process, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer from the food which they found from the forest
easily
.
For example
, in the 21st century, research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that in India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few numbers of Lion and tiger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
as having a lesser forest area where they can find their food and shelter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, in the later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that others factor is a major contributor for the imbalance of the environment. The
first
attribute is that the impact of the deforestation raises the temperature. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the pollution generated by the vehicles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
electronic gadgets
also
inculcate plethora of the carbon dioxide in the air. This would
be resulted
in the greenhouse effect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of raise pollution and temperature.
For instance
, this effect has
been measured
by the
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the sea level and the amount of rain in that a particular area would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
compared to the past.

In conclusion
, as per my opinion, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
play an imperative role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the surroundings hazardous. In the former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, needed to manage the food chain and ecosystem
as well
as in later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
which gives exploited the habitat in which that species is living. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and an individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take prevention steps to solve this.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 48

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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