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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.40

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 40
For decades, environmental issues are becoming a major concern globally. While some people believe that the major threat to the environment is the loss of specific flora and fauna at the present time, others argue that various parameters are responsible for the rise of environmental problems. However, in my opinion, other factors such as global warming and greenhouse gases are contributing in a large amount to the destruction of the environment in comparison to the extinction of a particular type of plants and animals. First and foremost, considering those individuals who opine that the loss of particular variety of plants and animals is the main reason for the rise of environmental issues. In other words, every species on the earth plays an important role in maintaining the balance of the ecosystem. This will disturb if any species extinct, especially the food chain. For instance, cutting of the trees which contributes 70% of the oxygen, has raised the level of CO2 on the earth and destroying the ozone layer. Thus, the extinction of some plants and animals are considered responsible for environmental problems. On the contrary, including myself, there are some people who think that global warming and emission of greenhouse gases are the main contributors towards environmental problems. To make it clear, consider an example of rising public vehicles on the roads, which are increasing the amount of CO2 gas in the air and also raising the global temperature. Furthermore, the health of the indigenous people has also become vulnerable due to inhalation of these hazardous gases. Therefore, global warming and the greenhouse gases are also becoming a hurdle for the environment. To conclude, there is a decline in the quality of the environment as compared to past time. Although some persons opine that this is happening due to loss of specific species of plants and animals, others do not agree. In my opinion, there are major factors which are destroying the quality of the air, which includes global temperature and greenhouse gases.
For decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues are becoming a major concern globally. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the major threat to the environment is the loss of specific flora and fauna at the present time, others argue that various parameters are responsible for the rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems.
However
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
are contributing in a large amount to the destruction of the environment
in comparison
to the extinction of a particular type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and animals.

First
and foremost, considering those individuals who opine that the loss of particular variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and animals is the main reason for the rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, every species on the earth plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in maintaining the balance of the ecosystem. This will disturb if any species extinct,
especially
the food chain.
For instance
, cutting of the trees which contributes 70% of the oxygen, has raised the level of CO2 on the earth and destroying the ozone layer.
Thus
, the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and animals
are considered
responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems.

On the contrary
, including myself, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming and emission of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
are the main contributors towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, consider an example of rising public vehicles on the roads, which are increasing the amount of CO2 gas in the air and
also
raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
temperature.
Furthermore
, the health of the indigenous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
has
also
become vulnerable due to inhalation of these hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
are
also
becoming a hurdle for the environment.

To conclude
, there is a decline in the quality of the environment as compared to
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
persons opine that this is happening due to loss of specific species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and animals, others do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. In my opinion, there are major factors which are destroying the quality of the air, which includes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
temperature and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 40

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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