Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.4

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 4
Some would believe that extinction of certain plants and animals from the planet is the primary environmental problem of our time, while others say that there are more valuable environmental issues. While the extinction of particular plants and animals has broken the chain of ecosystem, I believe that rise in sea level because of global warming is more life-threatening. On the one hand, extinction of particular plants and animals has broken the ecological system. This is to say that every species in the world are inter-related to each other, so when one is out from the relation then others also falls down. For example, research conducted by The Himalayan Times revealed that the number of tiger is decreasing every year because the numbers of deer, which is their main food, have declined in a rapid way over the years. However, I think this is not the main threat to the humankind today, in fact, rise in global temperature has turned into the most prominent problem at this time. On the other hand, the primary problem humans are facing today is the rise in sea level because of the global warming. This means, as the temperature of Earth is rising every day in the fastest pace, people are more concerned about the level of ice that is being molten every day that could enter into the communities living near sea. For instance, a recent survey conducted by the BBC News reported that people living in the coastel areas are in the biggest fear of all time as the rise of the water in ocean could swipe their entire community overnight. Therefore, I think global warming is the main problem that human is dealing with today. In conclusion, although the chain of ecological system is broken because of the loss of certain species of plants and animals, I think that global warming is the main important issue that humans should worry about because it is able to swipe the entire human existance from the planet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would believe that extinction of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from the planet is the primary environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of our time, while others say that there are more valuable environmental issues. While the extinction of particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
has broken the chain of ecosystem, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
in sea level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is more life-threatening.

On the one hand, extinction of particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
has broken the ecological system. This is to say that every species in the world are inter-related to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when one is out from the relation then others
also
falls down.
For example
, research conducted by The Himalayan Times revealed that the number of tiger is decreasing every year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the numbers of deer, which is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
food, have declined
Consider replacing "in a rapid way" with the adverb for "rapid"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a rapid way
over the years.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
threat to the humankind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, in fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
temperature has turned into the most prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
at this time.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
in sea level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
. This means, as the temperature of Earth is rising every day in the fastest pace,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more concerned about the level of ice
that is
being molten every day that could enter into the communities living near sea.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted by the BBC News reported that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
coastel
areas are in the biggest fear of all time as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
of the water in ocean could swipe their entire community overnight.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
is dealing with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

In conclusion
, although the chain of ecological system
is broken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the loss of certain species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
should worry about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is able to swipe the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
Possible spelling mistake found.
existance
from the planet.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts